Hi! If you’re seeing this post, thank you for clicking on little ol me. The worst thing just happened and I’m really upset over it, so I thought I’d share it here.
I’m vegan. I have been vegan since early 2020 as the pandemic began. Like many I gained lots of weight during the pandemic, both due to the lack of gyms/activities I could do, hitting a rock bottom depression that led to a lot of comfort eating, alongside starting new medications that both increased my appetite and caused me to gain weight like crazy.
Ironically enough, on March 2020, I posted publicly to my Instagram about my weight loss. Between the years 2016-2020 I had lost about 20kgs, and most people who knew me wouldn’t have recognised me as a thin her person because it was such a profound change. I was proud of my hard work and dedication. I was so happy to be healthy.
Now I’m sitting in a corner of a shopping Center holding back the tears. Not only did I gain all the weight I had lost over 2020, but the last time anyone saw me was when I was thin. I’m so large again that a lot of my clothes now are too tight and don’t fit, and just now I went to a health food store (they usually have lots of vegan goodies) and the cashier.... That cashier. He was very muscular and conventionally attractive. He acted like he knew it, too. So when I meekishly presented my vegan chocolate and crisps to him at the register, the look he gave me made my heart shatter. He looked at my body, and awkwardly said “oh, enjoy your... snacks”. Given it was a health food store, every other customer were either lifted from the pages of a fitness magazine or at the very least, thin. Getting vitamins or whole foods or whatnot. I know not every customer that’s ever been in that store fits the above description of course. But the way he looked me up and down, and almost seemed offended? Surprised? I wanted to burst into tears right then and there.
This is more a rant than anything, I don’t know if anyone will see this. But to hell if it kills me, I’m going to lose that 20kgs again this year. Even more. I’m gonna get healthy and get back on track. I don’t want to be looked at like I’m an oddity again.
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