Hey everyone, as the title says, I’m feeling low and wanted to vent.
Ive always been a bigger kid growing up. I was very aware of my size vs those around me. I had family members telling me I should lose weight, stop eating so much, and be like other kids. I was 7 when I remember hearing it.
When I was 16 ish, I stopped eating a lot and did P90X 2 hours daily. While I enjoyed being thin, I was still feeling sad and I developed headaches daily.
Around 18 or so I started gaining all my weight and then some. I’m 5”3 and my heaviest is currently 220. Since 18 years old to now (25) I haven’t only been able to drop 10 pounds or less, always going up and down.
With the pandemic and staying home, it became worse.
I hate myself. I can’t find love for myself. I look in the mirror and feel disgusted. I’ve tried not eating, I’ve tried counting calories, any weight loss pills I could find. I worked out 5 days a week. Nothing changed. I feel really low, like everything is my fault.
All I think about is my weight. Every second of every day. It’s exhausting and I don’t know what to do.
I’ll note that I am on BC pills and antidepressants, but I don’t know if those make it hard to lose weight. Anyway, I just needed to vent about not liking myself and having no idea what to do anymore.
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