Friday, May 14, 2021

Families Sometimes Suck

I began my weight loss journey in June 2020, easily was able to cut 1-2 lbs/week with my diet and exercise. I was tracking my calories and macros, and everything was going great until March 2021. I hit about 40 lbs lost from 198 to 158 around that time. It was wonderful being so dang close to my goal of 125-132 lbs since I do have quite a bit of muscle on my petite frame. The past couple of months my mom and grandma have been significantly pressuring me to eat bad with them EVERYDAY. Of course, there are times I have said no and go about business as usual but they begin complaining and having little fits that I don’t respect them or don’t want to be with them because I’m choosing not to eat the same foods. It’s been really frustrating since I do live at home with my mom. I am disabled and waiting for my partner to finish school so we can move in together. My mom will make me my favorites dishes or bring home all this fast food after I’ve already had my calories/dinner for the day. She’ll demand for me to eat them unless she’ll block me from showering the next day because she doesn’t “want her money wasted” (btw we only have one bathroom). It’s even more troubling with my 80 year old grandma. I’m a paid family caregiver, and I have shifts with her 1-3 hours a day, seven days a week. I’ll come for my shifts and she’ll have EVERY bad food that I’ve struggled with binging already prepared or waiting for me in tupperware. My grandma is more likely to flip out if I don’t accept and eat these “gifts” she provides me. Usually she’ll make me end my shift early and that hurts my paychecks. I’ve been buying my own salads, fruits, and veggies but with a college student budget I can only afford so much until it runs out. I’ve attempted to bring healthy foods to both homes (my mom’s and my grandma’s) to curb this so we can still all eat together and connect. But, even then I still have to deal with the BS fits and smart comments that I’m disrespecting them by not eating what they give me. I’ve been struggling so much that I gained some weight back and have been sitting between 167-171 all April and May. I’m really upset since I was at 158 ready to move forward out of obesity, and now I feel just like I’ll never get where I want to be living or being in these environments. I’d love any words of advice or just simply how to put boundaries up with them because even the threats to prevent me from showering have been working. I was really hoping to be in the 140’s or even the 130’s by my one year anniversary of my weight loss (June 2021), but my lacking progress and the home life situation has made me feel really stuck and hopeless.

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