Monday, May 10, 2021

Sharing meals to make friends, and how I’m struggling with it

I’d say every weekday for months I’ve been doing an incredibly great job with regards to eating healthy food, cooking my own meals, portioning, eating total calories below my daily intake level, and getting active every day.

Yet for this entire time, I have been hovering at around the same weight at which I started, with little progress.

It’s been frustrating but after giving it some thought, I realized this is because I’m eating out too often. While it sounds like there’s an easy fix here, for me it is not, and I’m hoping to get some advice on how to improve.

See, I have settled in with a new friend group that loves to eat out. I also love eating out, and we like trying new foods together. When I started my weight loss I promised I wouldn’t forbid myself from eating out as long as it was reasonable, maybe once a week. But my friends are not pestering me to go with them three or four times per week.

It seems like the easy answer is to say no most of the time but to me, food is how I bond with people and make friends. I grew up always struggling to make friends so I made a personal rule where if someone asked me to hang out, including to grab dinner etc. I would never say No even if my shy self wanted to stay home. So now when my new friends ask me to eat out with them I’m hesitant to say No because I don’t want them to think I’m not down to hang out or hard to convince, et cetera, but all this eating out is causing me to stall on my weight loss. What do I do?

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