Huge wall of text in 3.... 2.... 1....
I was diagnosed with ADHD in May of 2023. My doctor prescribed Strattera (a non-stimulant ADHD med) which helped enough that I realized my depression and anxiety were symptoms of ADHD. This led me to asking my psychiatrist to help me wean off the Effexor (antidepressant) I was on.
Weaning off Effexor was rough. Horrible withdrawals that incapacitated me for nearly a week, and then for months afterwards I continued to have withdrawals of lessening intensity until finally they stopped. It was awful and I truly worried that I would never feel 100% better.
One of the main withdrawals I experienced was nausea. I went from eating fast food 3x a day (think 2 double cheeseburgers from mcdonalds every day for lunch,) to not being able to hold down more than 1 meal a day. I had to miss a few days off work because I would throw up every time I tried to eat.
In less than a month, I had dropped from 240 down to 220lbs. At that point I was eating 2-3 meals a day again, but I was eating less than half the volume of food that I once had. I could not stomach more. Instead of 2 double cheeseburgers and a whole large fry, I would eat half a single burger and nibble a few fries. I continued to lose weight.
My doctor recommended we try Vyvanse after we reached the max dose of Strattera and I still wasn't getting the full benefit of the medicine. She started me on 30mg, and for the first 2 weeks, the appetite I had managed to work back up was gone. I still ate, but most days I skipped at least 1 meal, and when I did eat I was eating a few bites at a time before stopping.
By the time my appetite began improving again, I was down to 195lbs. Under 200 for the first time since middle school. I was elated. My appetite was coming back but I began tracking my calories religiously.
Now, I've been on adderall XR for a few months and it does nothing to my appetite at all. I'm back to being hungry, hungry. But I am still losing weight at a deficit, eating 1600-1900 calories most days. I have 2 weekly cheat days where I will eat up to 2500 calories. The days that I eat only 1600 calories, I may feel some more hunger but something about having those cheat days to look forward to makes the hunger easy to deal with.
My weight loss is slower now, but I am still losing at least 1lb per week. My goal weight is 145lbs, but my body is already starting to look and feel drastically different. I marvel at it nearly every day. I feel like the same obese mess that I was sometimes, but then I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and I do a double-take. Is that me? That doesn't look like me. I don't recall ever having seen myself this small.
My tummy is still very much there, round and sticking out way farther than I'd like. But there's also noticeably less stomach than there ever has been. The skin of my stomach feels looser, when before it used to be stretched tight. My belly still touches the tops of my thighs when I am seated, but only barely. I can look down while seated and see most of my thighs and it's bizarre.
I have been obese for the vast majority of my life. To the point that, I have no memories of a time that my body was this size. It's like getting adjusted to a new body, but every 10lbs lost I have to readjust. I love it and it makes me so very proud of myself, but it is really bizarre too.
I never, ever imagined I would get this far. But now that I am here, I cannot imagine stopping short of my goal. I love my new body. I love feeling like I finally have power to control my body, when every diet I ever went on in the past left me feeling like it's impossible to lose weight - so why even try? Turns out, weight loss is actually possible. And fun. Who knew it would be fun??
I'm actually going clothes shopping this weekend. And looking forward to it. For the first time in my life I am excited to go clothes shopping. All my clothes are baggy and smock-like on me. It makes me feel frumpy and strange, and I can't wait to get into some clothes that fit this new frame of mine.
Anyway. Posting this to celebrate my achievement of reaching 170lbs. I really never thought I'd be here. It really feels like I'm dreaming sometimes.
Sorry this is so long, but thank you for reading my story.
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