I’ve done it.
One hundred and twenty six pounds. Somewhere around four thousand days. Maybe more. Things get hazy. I have failed more times than most of you have tried. Personal trainers. Diets. Meal plans. The thing that finally worked was tracking food with MyFitnessPal. And even that was a struggle.
Life has a way of interrupting good habits, and even that was fraught with setbacks. I can see major events marked in my MFP data as the times I stopped tracking and fell off the wagon. Sometimes for months. Sometimes years. Once you stop it’s hard to start again. Never ever stop. Not for a day. Not for a meal.
My first real attempt to lose weight was a radical diet change and a series of intense workouts with a personal trainer. I hated him and I hated every last second of it, doing activities I hated and eating food I hated - and I understand now that this was always doomed to failure because I hated it. Cottage cheese is the most disgusting “food” on the planet and I will die on that hill. Dairy snot.
After that, another four years of on again, off again fad diets, gym memberships, even bicycle commuting led nowhere meaningful, and in 2012 was startled with wonderful news. I was going to be a father. I wanted to be the fit, healthy dad that I never had. And I weighed in at just under three hundred pounds. 297 to be exact. I was horrified at myself. I avoided cameras and did not take any ‘progress’ pics at the time. I was committed to ensuring my children never knew their fat daddy. I found /r/loseit and the amazing community. I started using myfitnesspal.
And it worked. I lost forty pounds in four months. And then I started a new job, working rotating shifts. And immediately the tracking went to hell, keeping a deficit when the concept of a ‘day’ made no sense seemed impossible, and I stopped. I never should have stopped, but I did.
My before picture is from a baby shower around that time, not quite at my peak but due to the ‘paper towel effect’ it’s close enough visually. Still wearing the same clothes.
Six months later, my daughter had been born, I was back on regular day shifts, and I again committed to her never knowing her fat daddy. I lasted a few months again, before working shifts and losing momentum yet again. But I was able to lose another fifteen pounds before stumbling.
Starting another job on days again, I managed to somehow maintain for six months without tracking, into early 2014 now. I got back on track and lost another ten pounds before tripping again. 235. The lowest weight I’d ever seen on a scale. I was at my ‘lie weight’, and only fifteen pounds away from my goal of 220.
And then my wife was pregnant with our second child. Unlike the first, this was a hard pregnancy, and I found myself the primary caregiver for a one year old, my pregnant and largely bedridden wife, and the sole income earner. Tracking just... stopped. I can understand it, even if I can’t yet bring myself to forgive me for it. I’m better at forgetting than forgiving.
Three years later in 2017, I found myself back at 250lb and unhappy. The stress of a second child was taking its toll on our marriage, and we almost didn’t make it. Just as an aside - counselling is a good thing folks, recommend it to anyone. As a part of that process, I came away with a need for continual self improvement. Be the best father, husband, man that I could be. That did not include being fat anymore. Soon my kids would form permanent memories of me like this. They would know their fat daddy.
So I started tracking again. And as always, making small adjustments, tweaking things down, lower and lower. Slowly. I stopped buttering my toast for my breakfast. I switched from sugar to sweetener in my coffee. But the most important thing was that I didn’t make radical changes. Small, incremental changes. One at a time.
I joined a gym not long after, but truthfully I never really went. I despised it. Especially cardio. Even a few minutes to warm up put me in a foul mood. I can’t explain why but putting actual effort into a treadmill or stationary bike is just damn near impossible when I can happily walk or ride a bike in the real world. It’s the lack of movement. Of progress. Doing all this work and feeling out of breath and I’m still in the same damn place drives me crazy.
Lifting. I like lifting. And I learned that conventional wisdom of using cardio for a warmup is bullshit. Use lighter weights for warmup. This is great.
Since April, progress stalled completely at 180lb. Still tracking. Still keeping a deficit. But cheating a bit more and getting a little sloppy with tracking. And it showed. My weight would not budge. And I stopped going to the gym again, just because life keeps getting in the damn way.
I had to do something to shock me. I realized I was already 90% Keto, and that most of my calorie sins are carb related, so let’s try this Keto thing. And wow what a difference. I am a sugar addict. It’s obvious now. It was really difficult to get through that first week, and then it all changed.
That was the start of October. Three months of Keto and my weight loss is back on track. There’s no magic to Keto - I’m just not hungry like I was. I eat when it’s time to eat because I should, or won’t have another opportunity for a while. Like gassing up your car when it’s at half a tank instead of rolling into the station on fumes.
And here’s where I am now.
MFP streak of over a year now. I’ve figured out how to manage it with shift work. Had a routine physical and weighed in at 171.1lb. 5’ 9-1/2”. Apparently that half inch matters, because that’s juuuust enough to slide me from overweight to the normal range.
Normal weight.
I’m here. I did it. Normal.
297lb to 171lb. 126lb lost. I don’t have initial measurements, but my pants went from a size 44 to a size 31. And I have my trophy belt, which shall soon be retired. The day of my physical I drilled one last final hole in it. The distance between the original and final hole is 13-1/2”.
So where do we go from here?
Well, I need to start focusing on fitness and not just weight loss. I need to start lifting again. But going to the gym just isn’t an option. I don’t have enough childfree windows to fit it all in. So up next is to clear out enough space in the basement for a home gym when I take a week off at the end of January. Stocking it will take money I don’t have, but the secondary market should have plenty of opportunities in a month or two. In the meantime, some body weight exercises will help.
I’m going to continue with Keto for now. It’s working. I like the food. Pondering zerocarb/carnivore and intermittent fasting/OMAD in case of another extended stall or just to keep it interesting.
This won’t ever end. This is forever. This is who I have to be, in order to be who I want to be.
And you can do it too.
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