I'm 29(F) and about 167cm tall. I've been lurking on /r/loseit without really posting for probably 4 or so years. This time last year I had just moved to a new country and was still relatively happy about my weight even if I'd let myself go a bit. But moving to a new place where my food choices are limited in ways I haven't worked out how to deal with, and my stress levels have fluctuated quite a lot, has been hell on my waistline. I think I'm probably back up to my highest previously recorded weight, around 76kg. As I've become less careful about my eating choices, fallen into old habits of comfort eating, and quite frankly, have been seduced by the incredible chocolate here, I've noticed that a few of my chronic issues have gotten worse. More weight means my asthma is no longer under control and my chronic pain, inflammation, and fatigue have flared up full-force. I have GERD, and while I'm finally on a medication that is helping me, I still experience some pretty excruciating chest pain on the regular, and my reflux isn't entirely controlled. I know this is because I'm eating foods that aggravate it, and I wont be able to get it under control if I don't change something. Add to that the fact that I have a handful of mild to moderate food allergies that are incredibly difficult to avoid in the typical diet here, and more often than not, I've decided to suffer the consequence instead of avoiding foods I should that happen to be easy or that I particularly like. I know this is a really bad thing to do, and I could potentially make my allergies much worse, but I'm struggling to find a way around those foods that doesn't make me completely miserable. The whole combination of issues is bad for me, and both my body and my self-esteem have suffered as a result. I've strictly controlled my diet in the past, cut out everything I was allergic to and dropped down to 62kg. I felt great about my body, but I had so much anxiety and anger surrounding what I was allowed to eat that I was equally miserable in some ways. With the recently diagnosed GERD to deal with on top of it, I'm somewhat terrified about going back to hating food and an even more restrictive diet. I need to find a happy medium between attending to my needs and finding ways to legitimately enjoy and improve my relationship with food, but I'm not sure where to start. I'm in a much better place mentally these days, and although I still worry about food becoming a source of stress again, I'm finally feeling ready to tackle it. I could really use some accountability, though. That said, I have a few hurdles to jump to get things rolling.
- I don't actually own a scale. To be honest, I'm not even sure what a scale is called here, though both problems are probably a quick fix. I'm going to see if I can head out and find one later today.
- My diet is going to be a pain to work out. My GERD is moderate and inching its way toward severe, which means there is a ton of foods I should be limiting in my diet if they aggravate my symptoms. I don't know what these foods are for me because I haven't stopped eating shit I'm allergic too long enough to establish a baseline. But, considering I'm allergic to milk, chicken, chicken eggs, corn, and peanuts, eliminating additional foods on top of that honestly makes the whole eating thing feel insurmountable. I can't even imagine how I could begin to enjoy food with such limitations. I'm not sure what to do about this one, other than start weaning myself off the foods I'm allergic to and hope I can find things I like just as much.
- Exercise is difficult for me. I have fibro and I haven't take care of myself, so my current threshold for what I can handle before my body goes into a full-on meltdown is pretty low. I realize exercise is not strictly necessary for weight loss, but I now live in a place where most people I see are fit and tall and confident. I can choose at least two of those things for myself. My friends here all do pole dancing and aerial, and I really want to start going with them when I can finally afford to. However, I know that if I can't spend a few hours walking around the city without enduring a flare-up that knocks me out for a week, then I'm not in the right place to start something as intense as pole. I'd like to change that. My fiance has started up a training regiment three times a week, and although I can't join him on his, maybe there is some way I can start baby-stepping my way to better physical health by doing things in the same time-slot.
- Probably the biggest hurdle is that I haven't worked out how to handle balancing my fiance's nutritional needs with my own. I do most of the cooking, though we have assistants that can help 4 days a week. He's struggled a bit with pain induced anorexia as a byproduct of living with a spinal chord injury, and he is on a diet intended to help him gain weight (his last weigh-in was 49kg, and he's doing great progress-wise!) I've been eating the same meals we make for him like a dope because I rarely have the energy to cook more than one meal, but I suppose I'll have to dredge it up from somewhere now. It would really help to have some quick options I can actually make myself eat.
This was long, and I may be mostly typing to myself, but I'm tentatively hopeful that I can manage to make things stick this time with the help of such a positive community.
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