You might be saying, "hold up, this isn't about weight loss", but it is.
I am one of the many people in this sub and across the whole who uses food to fill the holes in my heart. It's like having an overly stuffed stomach makes that dull, sad ache a little less achy. Then you get in a cycle of not even being hungry, but you're no longer stuffed so you must eat some more. Carrots or cauliflower won't do either. It must be filled with simple carbs to give that quick pick-me-up. Hello truffles and pizza - ideally not together.
Recently, I had my second child. I think I may have mild postpartum depression. Just over a month out from delivery I find myself overcome by sadness and crying. And now there's something else. She's healthy and wonderful and sweet, and I'm racked with guilt. She has had an easy start to life, but her older brother did not. He was born early, he developed necrotizing enterocolitis at 7 days in the NICU, and he had constant ear/nose/throat infections until one developed into bacterial meningitis at 16mos. He wasn't given a newborn hearing screen as the hospital fell through on their duty, but with the constant infections we had to keep cancelling planned ones or they were marked inconclusive. Last week, his cold was still mild that while the results are not conclusive we did find out he is deaf in one ear. I wrote about it on other subreddits, but the vitriol I received had me deleting two posts. The parent guilt is already enough and people can't seem to wrap their head around the idea it was hard to notice or that a child can be that constantly sick. We have brought up my son's constant illnesses and wanting to see an ENT with his pediatricians (it's a practice), but were told by multiple drs that constant illnesses in daycare 0-3yr olds is normal and an ENT won't be able to help unless he has 5 confirmed strep cases in a year or 7 in two. After the SSD or UHL diagnosis we were sent to an ENT. It is worse than we imagined, probably because we kept being told all this was normal. He is going to have a bunch of tests. My husband and I are great supports for our son and each other, but right now we need more. Our friends and family don't seem to understand they're saying the wrong words and it isn't fair of us to put that responsibility on them. So today I'm going to call a wonderful lady, who has helped us before. Everytime I reach for a truffle, start ordering take-out, or heating up the oven to eat an entire pizza I going to remind myself that it's easier to care for my children without carrying around this excess weight. And it's true. It is easier. At a healthy weight, it is easier to have more energy (mental & physical), you're more comfortable in your surroundings (which is truly underappreciated), and will help with one part of current hopeless feeling. I cannot control my son's health, but I can control all the extra food I'm adding to my day. That bit of control helps me feel a bit less lost. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes. I'm trying to nurse and type. (I don't produce even half of what my daughter needs so I'm not worried about my production dropping more. I'm about to be irrelevant as a source of food for her as my production is only a small percentage already.)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2DVkftX
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