Here's my progress pics - I posted them here a few months back. (https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/a7diq7/decided_to_change_my_life_this_summer_today_i/)
I don't know why I'm writing this, but I just needed to get it off my mind because a lot of people in my life are worrying about me. Over the last year I started off 273 and ended up hovering at around 165-170 after working incredibly hard to get where I am at. Throughout the process I tried to make sure to do everything right - I logged meals at 1500 cals a day, a pretty sustainable number and worked out. Now that I've lost the weight and I've started maintaining, my mental state has really deteriorated.
Throughout the weight loss period I was euphoric. My body was only, always getting better. I became obsessed with looking at my new body in the mirror and bought a whole new wardrobe, started dating and really experiencing what my skinny friends have been enjoying their whole lives. I basically vowed to never let myself look as fat and disgusting as I did prior to my journey - even to the point where it's difficult for me to even look at photos of my formerly fat self.
Maintenance has by FAR been the hardest part of my weight loss journey. It was at this point where I really stopped seeing my body "get better" - instead my body has been settling and adjusting to what I've done over the past year or so. This is what's basically started my problem.
The first thing I do every morning is go into my bathroom. I look into the mirror, think I look like shit, then weigh myself. If the number is below 170, literally the second I look back in the mirror my view of myself will look 10x better. If I weigh over what I wanted, you can guess it will pretty much hang over my head the entire day. On those days I will sometimes literally eat nothing and work out to get myself back to that "skinny sub-170". When I feel fat I will hide away from the world and only continue to eat, I won't even open my snapchats because I hate seeing my bloated face. I've found that I am extremely sensitive to water retention and my weight can fluctuate 20 lbs in a given week (and it has) - this is incredibly stressful to me.
My days now are pretty much feast or famine. Some days I'll be really busy and my entire intake for the day will be some small tossed salad (maybe 500 cals). Other days I will literally order a 10 piece of fried chicken from Popeyes and consume 4000 calories in a single serving. Even consuming water is stressful because it bloats me and makes me look puffy. I'm literally scared to eat a sandwich or rice because of the bloating effects of carbs.
It sounds fucking ridiculous, I know. But it's real. I'm just posting because I want to know if there's anyone else like me here. People say that weight loss makes you happier and it's true. I've never been happier in my life but at the same time my mental state has never been this fragile.
Take care of your mind and body during maintenance. It's important - I wish I did better for myself. Gonna work on getting this fixed in my life.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2SG473G
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