I'm a student and took on a hell of a semester in the fall...16 credits, plus intensive research while running our student research lab. I was basically on campus all of the time, and I didn't take the time to prep food or anything. Needless to say, I gained about 15-20 pounds during those few months due to stress eating (and drinking) all of the garbage that was at my finger tips. I had gone from ~190lbs, got down to 145-150, kept it off and got back up to 170. I'm only 5'2" (female). I was, and am, heartbroken by gaining the weight back.
A few weeks ago, I decided I needed to make a change after one friend lovingly said she was worried about my mental health (because of the weight gain) and another not-so-loving friend told me that I was unattractive because I was fat.
All of the emotions were just overwhelming. I was a vegetarian for about 12 years and I still do not eat alot of meat. When I do, its mostly to try new things, not because I "need" meat. I know how to balance my diet really well to make sure I'm getting the protein I'm craving, when I do crave it. So overall, I generally crave healthy food and have some decent habits in place as far as cooking healthy meals. I just over-eat -- I binge eat, stress eat, and occasionally eat out of boredom. And I snack -- this has, by far, had the most impact on my weight loss and gain. Managing my snack habits.
The recent comments from friends really set me off in an unhealthy direction. I immediately started to work out obsessively and was eating waaaaay less than what I should have been eating. I was eating below or just around 1200 cals and felt absolutely guilty whenever I ate something that wasn't a damn carrot stick. I'm currently on vacation, and went to do a HIIT work out the day before I left. I aimed to do the HIIT workout with some follow-up yoga. I had already been to the gym four days that week. Before the workout I literally had a cup of coffee, some fruit, and a piece of cheese (in the morning...the work out was done later in the afternoon). I fell over about 20 minutes into the work out. I did NOT have what I needed to get through that kind of workout. That moment was a real wake up call for me. Yesterday, I walked 8 miles in the city and realized that I had NOT eaten enough. I was cranky and weak until I finally stopped to eat.
My question is how do you maintain a deficit while maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and with food? I definitely fell into patterns of disordered eating...which absolutely scared me once I realized what I was doing (planned for 1200 cals, and was doing below that while working out for 30 min to 1 hour). I'm trying to get back to a healthy, sustainable relationship with my body, not trying to crash and burn or possibly harm myself in the process.
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