Hey folks,
So I've commented with bits and pieces of my weight journey, but this is my first real post. I've had a lifelong struggle with my weight. My lowest adult weight was 135, fueled by a neglectful relationship and depression. My highest adult weight was 210, fueled by an abusive relationship and depression. I'm clearly an emotional eater and I use food as a form of self harm.
I've been wanting to lose this extra weight for a while. My first push was when I was talking to my doctor about my terrible insomnia and he prescribed me medication that is also prescribed to people with AN to cause weight gain. The next sentence after telling me this was to tell me I needed to lose weight. Right. But I'm stubborn and I know how to do it (CICO, of course), so I lost down to 187 and then...stopped. I find that happens a lot...I'll get super motivated for emotional reasons and then, when the emotion fizzles, so does the motivation.
I'm trying to do a better job this time. I've renewed my food logging and I'm down to 177 as of this morning. However, if I'm honest with myself, the reason I want to lose weight now is because of social comparison. I'm a university student and I was recently accepted to do my honour's thesis in a lab full of absolutely beautiful women. Two of them practice yoga regularly and one lifts weights. They made plans to do "lab yoga" and other fitness based social activities this summer and I feel super self-conscious about participating because I know I'm not in good enough shape to keep up. I'm highly motivated to lose this extra weight and get in shape so I can participate in these activities with them, but I also know that part of it is so that I "fit in" with them. I guess I'm just worried that this isn't a "good enough" reason to pursue weight loss. I don't have the skills or perspective to determine that for myself. And I guess my second question is if it matters...motivation is motivation, right?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2ZXOeKU
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