This may be fairly long, so sorry in advance.
As the title states, my wife has struggled with her weight since she was a teenager. Her current weight is 465lbs, or, to us Brits, 33 stone 3lbs. She did really well last week, lost 6lbs. . .and then put 10 on this week, despite not eating all that much. Yes, we had two takeaways, but it was nothing huge, just a burger each and some chips to share. She's eaten way more before on a bad week and still lost.
I think it all really started back in 2007, when she lost her mum and best friend to cancer. Her weight crept up. It yo-yo'd for a while, but when we moved into our first home together, her weight was somewhere around 23 stone, or 322lbs. She cut down her meal sizes, went on Weight Watchers and that worked for a while. She had a weekend job not far from home, but had to catch a bus then walk through a pitch black field when she came home at night due to the Council never putting up any lights.
She lost her job in 2010 after a new manager joined and began making her life hell. All she remembers is that he made her feel very uncomfortable. He didn't like her, for reasons still unknown to us. She began to have anxiety and panic attacks at the thought of going into work. She began taking her sick days, trying to sort herself out. Some days she'd be fine. It got to the point I phoned up for her because she was terrified of him answering the phone. He answered and I told him she couldn't come in due to not feeling well. His reply? "Oh, what a surprise!" I laid into him, telling him it was his own fault for treating her like shit. I had a go at him for a few more minutes before hanging up.
A few days later, we were in our local Morrisons with our two best friends and my wife was talking of leaving her job. As an anxiety attack began, her legs buckled and she collapsed. I made her write out her notice and handed it in myself as she was too afraid to go in.
Somewhere around 2012, we went to bed one night. The next morning when we woke, she complained of back pain and struggled to get out of bed. The doctors had no idea and put it down to her weight and gave her weight loss aids.
We married in August 2013. Her dad died January 1st, 2014. Her depression peaked and her weight continued to creep up. By now I was acting as unofficial carer for her. I helped her wash and clean herself in the bath or after using the bathroom. Every time I did this, she would get more depressed, often breaking down crying.
She now has what we believe is arthritis after a doctor looked her over and said she had it, but it was never an official diagnosis if that makes any sense. Her feet balloon up with fluid and it's agony for her to move much.
As a result, I do literally everything around the house, and suffering from severe depression myself means the house is often a tip, which makes us both feel worse.
She is housebound now. The step leading into our porch is 6 inches high and it's quite a drop compared to the steps leading outside and causes her a lot of pain to try and go outside, which she hates. We know we desperately need to go to the doctor, but it's all downhill, and it's steep. We have to get a taxi any time we go and that's no longer possible. They say they do home visits but the few times we tried they refused, saying if she can stand and walk to the toilet she can come in to the clinic.
One doctor told her she needed an MRI, but she's claustrophobic and had a panic attack. They didn't give her anything to calm her down and pretty much told her it wouldn't pick up on much because she was so fat, something that still pisses me off.
I'm not fat. I have a little bit of a belly, but other than that am a slim size 10. I can't relate to what she's going through, how could I? I'm at my wit's end, trying to help her. I truly don't know what to do any more. She used to be so happy, bubbly and outgoing. We used to enjoy walks together. Now she has anxiety attacks at the thought of going out alone. The rare days we have managed to leave the house it's been for around a minute or two before it becomes too much for her and she has to go back inside. She's desperate to lose the weight. She feels like a useless husk of a person who is nothing but a burden. I've tried getting her counseling, but they only do it over the phone now and she physically can't, due to anxiety attack hitting any time she has to talk on the phone to anyone who is not me or our two best friends.
I just need some advice or something. . .I don't know. She was meant to be contacted regarding weight loss surgery and that was a month ago. I just don't know how to help her and it's killing me watch her struggle.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2JjWE9p
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