In the past 6 months, I have lost a lot of weight, but I don’t exactly feel proud about it. Here’s some background:
In January- April of this past year, I committed to losing weight and getting fit. I was then 23, 6 feet, male and 230 starting the year. This was my heaviest weight ever and one year after graduating college, I was eating unhealthy and not exercising as much, while also dealing with a first job. At my lowest weight, I was down to about 203 pounds. I was mostly eating healthy, cut out most processed foods and even got to the point when I didn’t even enjoy eating most processed foods. I sometimes allowed myself to eat “junk food” when presented, but was able to prevent binging. I also walked a lot, at lest 12,000 steps a day and went to the gym at least twice a week, but heathy eating was my main priority. I felt really proud of my weight loss, was sleeping better, felt more energized, and genuinely happy.
In April, I found out I was accepted for a job that would move me to Southeast Asia for 2.5 years, leaving in July. At that point, I relaxed my eating habits, still eating somewhat healthy, but as I got closer to my departure I ate less healthy and exercised less. I didn’t feel terrible about this because I knew I was leaving for two years and a lot of my goodbyes revolves around eating and drinking with friends and family.
I didn’t weigh myself before leaving, but I think I was around 225-230 pounds. About two weeks in to living here in SE Asia, i saw a doctor for a checkup and was at 219 pounds, but could tell I was already down a little bit from when I left. I have been weighed one more time since being here and was at 202 pounds at the end of October. I don’t know my current weight, but I would guess it’s under 200 pounds. It is very visible that I’ve lost weight, and while I don’t have a flat stomach per-say, i look thinner than I have in at least 7 years. I have also lost at least 4 pants size and don’t fit into any pants that I brought with me.
I don’t entirely feel proud of my weight loss though. I eat vegetables and meat with dinner, and also rice, but I do eat a lot of processed foods as snacks and drink more soda than I am proud of. I do bike to get around, but otherwise I don’t really work out. I think just being in SE Asia with a changed diet is really the only reason.
I know the past me would be really glad that about my weight loss, especially without too much effort, but I don’t feel particularly proud about it. I’m by no means mad that I’ve lost weight and like how I look, but I don’t really feel proud of it. I think the biggest things are when friends or others comment on my weight and tell me how good I look is when I feel bad about it. I almost get mad, because I don’t really feel proud of it and the weight loss just kind of happened.
Sorry for the long post, I’m just kind of confused about how I feel.
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