As the title says, it's been 348 days and I have FINNNALLLLLLLLLLLLY hit my goal.
I have posted in here quite a few times (as well as progress pics) so if you want to see my journey, or learn more about me - feel free to check my post history :)
Here's some more about my journey, with some things that I've learned and who, exactly, I once was. I hope it helps someone like me. Someone who doesn't necessarily see how the got/are so heavy, someone who is sad and struggling.
It has been a long, bumpy, and at times stagnant journey to get here. I am now at the weight that I felt the best about myself in not-so-recent memory (11 years ago). When I started this journey, on January 5th, 2019 - I about cried when I realized that 185 was 75.5 lbs away from me. 75.5. That's the size of a large dog, an average size young child or almost $35,000 in cash. I wanted to run and hide. I had pictures of myself at my largest, unflattering pictures. Disney World takes professional quality photos of you from afar. Meaning, I couldn't hide the lumps, bumps and humps from a flattering selfie angle in Disney.
I have endometriosis (and have had surgery during this weight loss journey, crazy enough!) and with the fear that endo alone could kill my chances of having children - I knew my weight would if endo left me with any chance at all. I had to get it together. I had to stop being the lazy, rollypolly that I was for SO DAMN LONG.
Lazy Lauren, let's describe her. She ate relatively healthy, relatively normal 'meals'. Never finished dinner at a restaurant, ate alright sized portions. But Lazy Lauren had a serious problem with eating allllllll of the candy, sweet stuff, sugary stuff that ever got put within reach. She would eat a bag of this, a bag of that and if she wasn't quiteeeee in the mood for a sugar high, she'd mow down half a family sized bag of chips. While to everyone else, that ate out with her, that ate dinner with her - it looked crazy that she was so large but ate pretty good! It was hidden. It wasn't that I ate 4 dinners. I didn't. I didn't eat breakfast, I rarely ate lunch and I ate ~900-1100 calorie dinner. The ice cream, sour straws, starburst, cookies, Hershey hugs and overly sweet mixed drinks did me in. I didn't exercise. I got up when I had to from my couch, I walked to/from my car/office and to/from the bathroom at work. I walked at Disney. That was really it.
I wasn't what people assume a very morbidly obese girl was, but there I was. 260.5 of pure lard. I also drank mayyyyyyyybe a glass of water a day. Maybe. Now it's 100oz of water a day. Let me tell you - I think this is part of what helped me immensely. I was always so dehydrated. Always. By the time dinner would roll around, I'd be crushing 2-3 diet cokes - not knowing why I was so quick to drink them. I was just thirsty. All the time and didn't know it. I got it under control. It's HUGE to be hydrated. I get almost no headaches or migraines anymore.
I jog about 50 minutes every day, I walk about 11,000 steps a day too. This was a journey. My goal was 5k steps a day, then 7.5k and then 11. The jogging was added on (2 sets of 25 minutes) about 6 months ago. And mostly, I do it, so that I hit my steps faster - no real reason other than I don't feel like taking longer to hit the 11K goal. I don't think it was/is necessary to my life, but I do it and it's not so bad!
I NEVER thought I'd hit 75.5 lbs down. I knew when I made 185 my goal, that all it would do is put me in the overweight BMI - not healthy. I just couldn't put in 150 and see 110 lbs to goal to be within the healthy range. I was already crushed looking at 75.5. Now, staring into the future, 35 lbs more doesn't seem so scary. I'm still going to eat 1500-1700 calories a day and if it takes me another 348 days to get to 150, I'm okay with it.
I spent over 2 weeks on vacation during my journey, I had surgery that quite literally kept me on my ass for 2 weeks and I celebrated many things over these days and I'm still here. I've had setbacks, bad days and weight gain but I'm here. Don't get discouraged if you miss a day, or 3 of goals. Please don't deprive yourself of a slice (just 1!) of birthday cake on your birthday or an anniversary toast with your spouse. You CAN have your birthday cake and be alright on the other side.
I just need you to know that you can do it. I did it, and I really never believed I could. If I can, you can. Believe in yourself. Baby steps!
Thank you lose it, thank you all for being such a big part of my journey. Here's to a healthy weight for me, which I haven't seen since puberty!
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