Friday, December 13, 2019

Going in Cycles and losing my mind

I recently moved and started a new job. as a result my previous weight loss that i had accomplished from the start of the year (SW: 231 LBS DOWN TO 198 Lbs at my lowest) hovered me back to above 200 (usually hovering around 205). My job has a very nice gym facility and became a member. For the past two weeks, i went to the gym three times, which for me is a major step up from before (maybe going twice a month). Despite that goal....i am slipping.

Between thanksgiving, seeing mine and my gfs families, holiday parties, and christmas coming up, i know I am in danger. This week in particular was really bad.

Monday i got and ate 34 dollars worth of chinese take out

Tuesday i lade modifies chili cheese fries (leftover potroast over sautéed sweet potatoes) which normally is not that bad, but this time i topped it with gravy and two eggs

Wednesday: Department holiday party with open har and three different kinds of pasta

Thursday: Holiday reception with a bunch of christmas cookies, followed by take away pepperoni pizza.

Now I feel like I cannot stop eating, and i have jumped up two pounds in a week. I cant keep at this, but at the same time o am the kind of person that gets so neurotic and anxious tracking everything I shut down. I am still at a net loss of last year but right now I feel like a failure. Every time the past month I try to start healthy, i slip back. It is a vicious cycle, it is discouraging and I hate it

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