Friday, December 13, 2019

I can feel the train derailing.

I’ve made a few key life changes over the past 18 months, that’s culminated in a 12kg weight loss.

I (F, 163cm) started at 82.9kgs and am now hovering around 70-71kgs.

This came from a drastic clean up on portion size, snacking and way over estimating exercise to energy output. I sought help through an excellent nutritionist and have continued to see her over this period (roughly every quarter).

Where to start. Essentially, I find it hard to socialise and weight manage. I hate that I have friends who can seem to endlessly drink cocktails and eat meals out without it touching sides. I hate always being the clued up one on how many calories or how much protein my meals have. I don’t feel fun. I hate how having 2 glasses of wine puts me over my daily allocation and then I want to be oppositionally defiant and have two more and snacks just to prove I can.

I recently bought a house and the costs have really been tough last month. We’re ok (phew) but I haven’t sign up for a new gym just yet as we need to bake in a few savings until Jan to get through what will be an expensive Christmas period on top of that.

In a nutshell, I’m getting frustrated. Thinking about my weight is taking up so much space in my brain on an hourly basis that I’m resentful, I don’t feel at peace and my therapy (cooking) has become not enjoyable because I’m mentally ticking off what’s allowed and what isn’t which takes some of the fun out of it.

I can see all of this happening and I’m trying my best to put the brakes on, but any words of encouragement or tips would be well appreciated!

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