HOLA. Might end up "complaining" for stupid reasons, but I have never spoken out to anyone about this and need to put my thoughts into words somewhere:))
I am a girl, 18 years old, live in northern Europe. Through my entire childhood, I was always the fat girl. Although I have gotten a few quick comments on my weight, which are planted in my head even though they were not that mean, I was never really bullied. I have always had good friends and family relations. Anyways, being overweight impacted my childhood-years as almost every activity or sport we did in school, or outside, I was constantly worried about if my weight or size would have an impact. I was never gigantic, but clearly bigger than my classmates, which I found hard to accept. But all together, it was not too bad at that time and I had a great childhood etc.
As I got into secondary school and entered puberty and the goddamn emo-years, it got worse. I had always hoped that my body would change and the width would turn into height or whatever, but I sort of gave up my hopes when I started putting on more weight. We all had to do a check-up at the school nurse, which I was not looking forwards to at all... I weighed in at 71kg/156lbs at the age of 13, which was way too much compared to my height at that time. The "emo-phase" hit me hard, and I was mostly sitting inside listening to "alternative pop blah blah". I stopped caring about what I looked like, cause I felt ugly anyways. It kept me away from parties, hooking and alcohol. The idea of dressing up and feeling pretty was all gone, so I tried to avoid that, like not going to the proms.
This continued as I started high school, and lasted for a year and a half. My weight, health and future really depressed me, I was in terrible shape and started to breathe heavily. I had tried to loose weight and adapt healthier habits many times, but hard as it is, I had never succeeded. But last winter, something told me that I just HAVE to make it. I lost my appetite and barely ate anything for a couple of months. I was not healthy at all and I do not recommend anyone to try and loose weight this way, but for me it was necessary even though I do not know what triggered it. My little depression gave me the push that I needed to get to a healthy weight, and sort of restarted my relations to food.
As I reached a healthy BMI, I started to eat a lot more, exercise and be more healthy. I am 170cm/5.57ft and went from 85kgs/187lbs to 63kgs/138lbs in less than a year, so obviously people have noticed. None of my friends have ever questioned my weight loss, which considering it being something I find very personal, I am very grateful for. However, my parents friends have mentioned and asked me about my weight loss, some several times... One of their friends in his 50s has asked me THREE TIMES: "You are so skinny, are you sick?", which I find very unpleasant. Others have commented on it in better ways, but no matter how kindly they are asking about my weight, it just makes me cringe and try to change the subject. I am fully aware that most of them are happy for me and trying to give a compliment. However, their attention on my body emphasize the fact that people actually have kept an eye on my size, and thought of me as a fat kid. I suppose some people love the compliments, but to me they are just causing damage.
I could never really understand why I was fat while everyone else where fit. Both my parents were, and still are, overweight, so I thought it could have been our genes (even though my little brother has always been healthy weighted). I never considered the reason being our food habits, and stuck to my moms mindset of "we are thick boned, and some people are heavier than others". When I lost my weight I had to teach myself healthy food-habits all my friends have, but my parents never thought me. Now when I look at how my parents eat, it is very clear why I put on all that weight in the first place. I know it should not bother me, but seeing them both at that weight frustrates and makes me sad.
I changed my diet to more water, vegetables, fiber-foods, less meat and smaller portions. Of course I still eat high fat foods and junk now and then, but compared to them, I would for instance put half the amount of cheese on my slice of bread. I know they think I am restrictive around food, and that it annoys them. To be fair, in the beginning, I clearly was, but now I would say that I am not at all... It really bothers me that they do not have the self-knowledge to see their food intake and exercise-level do not match! and they are not doing any changes! I have not talked to them about this, but I feel like I should considering weight has always had a big impact on my thoughts, and it still constantly is on my mind.
Offfh, well thats it. Might not have been interesting to read through, but if you did, thanks!!:)
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