I'm sure a lot of people are in the same boat right now, in fact... I'm certain most people who will be reading this thread can relate to what I'm feeling right now.
I was surprised to step on the scale this morning after 2 weeks of mostly housebound inactivity and discover that I was still on track with my weight loss. I had been DREADING it for a few days because I haven't been active, and my diet has been frankly really poor. While it was a silver lining to an otherwise terrible week...well, month actually... I was a bit confused at first, because all i had been doing was munching on chips, drinking diet pop and laying around watching netflix. I realized that despite not having put on any weight, I felt a considerable amount of self hatred, judgement and I guess, depression that I had not been feeling throughout February.
There was no pep in my step, my eyes are sunken and my skin looks pale and flaky from being away from sunshine for so long (its still winter here, so the sunny spring days are not upon us). I have little to no desire to go outside, and most people you see on the streets are a bit edgy and briskly walk past you, which is responsible to be sure... but still leaves you feeling a bit crappy. I have little to no desire to cook healthy food, I just nibble away at oreos and drink wine, and occasionally take an edible to give myself a gentle body high (legally of course, I live in Canada)
All of these behaviours are completely unhealthy, yet, my calories in and calories out doesn't appear to have changed at all. What has changed is the quality of my decisions, and as a result my mental health has nosedived. It makes me understand why people with addictions, dependencies and mental health problems can often look very thin, but extremely unhealthy and beaten down, as if they will break at any moment. It made me sad because I realized my outlook concerning health could be so superficial... and the current circumstances proved that.
I guess what i'm trying to say is that this experience has been a way to make me better understand how our measurements have little to do with our overall health, and for a while my little brain... in its first world environment was gunning for that 23 inch waist and tiny hip size. A lower BMI is really just the added perk of a new lifestyle. Its the result of making a series of healthy and happy decisions to ensure we create a better quality of our life for ourselves. Never in my life have I craved the creamy taste of an avocado more or the crisp taste of cold water after a long run in the park more than right now. Yet, I can still do those things... but why do I choose to sit around and mindlessly watch TV instead and allow the endless release of cortisol and anxiety to keep the weight off for me?
I guess this is just a little note for those in the same boat to understand that many others are facing this same mental barrier, and to be gentle with yourselves. Perhaps it will serve as a little reminder to focus on how energetic you felt after a nutritious meal, how happy you felt after a powerful spin class and how lucky you soon will be to have people around you that we can CONNECT with and TALK to face to face.
Life is looking bleak right now, and the implications on the economy combined with the grief of so many at losing loved ones will be sure to hold us down. But it's these subreddits that will build community when we can't physically connect with the community. So I appreciate you all.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2UHW5dH
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