So I am sorry for any possible grammatical errors, I'm not a native english speaker. I am 19 years old, female, 160 cm and weight 76.5 kg, I am very motivated to lose 16 kg and get my life back together. The problem is, this is not the first time I am on a weight loss journey, back in 2017 I Iost 14 kg and was almost done with it (weighted 62 kg), wanted to get as healthy as possible, things were going great at the time, I was exercising, eating right, was very motivated to feel good for the rest of my life... But then life hit me. To make a summary my parents started fighting, a lot (their marriage was deteriorated since 2015-2016 or so) and I just couldn't bare with it anymore, I was the one who told them to get a divorce and that was what happened some months after, and to be honest I don't regret it, but what came after really fucked me up. On my 17th birthday they went to get a divorce instead of celebrating with me, fortunately my dad took me out to dinner in the evening, and right there we saw my mom with some man, none of us said anything. My dad left one month later, and it really crushed me, I was talking to him on the phone but it wasn't the same, at that point I started to emotionally eat again, but it wasn't so bad. My mom started going out A LOT, and really, she was not the type to do so, but I couldn't do anything about it, I had school, studying a lot to get into university bla bla bla... But then she brought home a man. I didn't really like the idea, especially when things changed so quickly, but what could I do? After some weeks I started to binge eat, I felt alone, my dad was far away from me, my mom was meeting some weird guy, things didn't go that well at school and my "friends" didn't really care about me or my life, so my only comfort was food, a lot of food. This was the point when things started going downhill. Then my dad visited, and in the same time my mom came to me and said that guy would live with us from now on (so they knew each other for 2-3 months and wanted to live with that guy already? Yes, I suspected she cheated on my dad when they were still together), of course I was angry, I started crying and went to my dad, who got furious when he found out. Went back to my mom, took all of my things (that was the most crushing thing I've ever done, that room will never be mine again) and just put all of them in my dad's one room apartament, where we lived together when he was not working. Now the story is already too long, so to speed things up I was sad, ate a lot of cheap shit because we didn't have a lot of money, then my dad left for work. Now I was alone for real, my mom was mad and she choose that guy over me, my dad left and same deal with the other people. There were days when I would binge on candy and nothing else, only chocolate for 2 days or even more, I felt like shit. In the meantime I got into university and lived in the dorm, witch was the best compared to the nasty apartament with cockroaches. My mom was in and out of that relationship with that guy, now he doesn't live with her anymore. I started to feel better, still sad and eating like shit tho, at this point I regained all of that weight. Coronavirus came and I left the dorm, didn't have a place to go now because my dad sold the apartament... So I came to my mom. Oh boy she is now taking that sweet revenge by verbally abusing me, bringing home weird guys and shoving it in my face that I can't get a date. I'm not even staying in my old room, but the guest room because she moved her things there. So the first weeks were super depressing and I kept stuffing my mouth. But right now I am super motivated to lose weight, I want to get out of this quarantine looking healthy again and not wanting to die, my depression is not as bad as it was 1 year ago and I hope I can deal with this. I know how to lose weight, I've done it before, but I am afraid that life will hit me again and stupid me will deal with that by eating food. So please, tell me what can I do to prevent that?
TL;DR : Depression came, ate a lot, depression a little better, want to lose weight, but afraid of what would happen if it gets worse. Need advice.
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