I lurk this sub when I'm doing well and sticking to my WW points. I avoid it when I'm not. I'm a 32 year old woman and I weigh 334 pounds. I'm 5'5.
I rarely post on here. But I stumbled across my pictures tonight from when I was 17-20. Btw, this is gonna sound conceited. And to be honest, I used to be a conceited little shit. My family used to poke fun at me for it. But goddamn, I miss my looks. I used to have dark, brown hair. Now I have premature white hair at my temples. I look older than I am. Thanks, family genetics! I used to have perfect, clear skin. Hello, adult acne. I used to be a healthy 120-130 pounds. I looked good in my clothes. I had male attention even though I'm pretty reserved.
But I went to college and my poor eating habits finally caught up with me. And I'm now 32 years old and I still haven't learned to like vegetables. I still eat like shit. I graduated from college in 2011 and still haven't learned how to eat right.
Sometimes, like tonight, I get angry with my parents. I tell myself that they didn't try hard enough to teach me to eat healthy despite my picky eater habits.
But really, I have to stop blaming them. I've been out of my parents' house for years.
I'm happily married but we want to have kids. I'm fairly sure I have PCOS and I know that weight loss would help my chances of conceiving. But that's not all. I miss being able to do different positions in sex. I'm sorry, this is TMI. But goddamn...I haven't been able to be on top in a LONG time. I was able to be more adventurous in bed with my ex when I was at a healthy weight. With my husband, not so much. We're both overweight but the fact that I can't even be on top or do different positions is so depressing.
I look at my younger pictures and just feel so incredibly sad. My younger self didn't know how good she had it.
Tomorrow I'm going back on the wagon. I'm going to stay within my points. I just need to remind myself to take it one day at a time. I'd give anything to be back to 130 pounds. I just need to stop being so weak and lazy.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3cd1sJk
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