F22/5'4/SW:161 CW:140 GW: 130
Last year I finally got my life together and started losing all the weight I'd piled on from stress eating my way through grad school. I felt awful at my highest weight ever (160lbs), self conscious, disappointed and none of my clothes would fit me.
I found this sub, downloaded mfp and didn't look back for 3 moths. I lost 20lbs in this time, but then December hit and I decided to take a break for the holidays... I never got back on the wagon, fell back into my old eating habits and slowly over the course of 2019 gained the whole 20lbs back.
Losing the lbs that I had already lost last year was so unexpectedly TOUGH psychologically. I had no excitement or motivation, every point off was a pound that 'shouldn't have been there', and even new number on the scale was a number I had seen and celebrated before. It was not motivating or exciting to lose the weight again, it was demoralising and infuriating, reminding me every day of how I had set myself back so much for a whole year. All I could think about was how far I would be if I hadn't gained it back.
I feel like this aspect of second time weight loss is not discussed enough (or maybe it's just me?), just how difficult it is to lose the weight again mentally, and how it feels like it took so much longer this time not because it did (it was actually quicker) but because I felt like I already should be there. I know it was only 20lb, and I can't imagine how hard this would be for those who have lost and gained much more.
As of today I'm back at 140 again and that feeling of motivation and excitement to see my body change and the weight go down is back. I've also learned my lesson, that not only I can gain gain the weight back (I did think I was above it before...) but about how awful it is to do so, not so much physically but psychologically. I never want to put myself through that again.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Lpf3Bp
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