STILL haven't lost any weight.

I really hate myself right now. It has been seven weeks since I set a calorie deficit and 'committed' to losing the weight. I should be down, minimum, 5kg by now but instead I'm sitting at my starting weight. I want to cry and scream. Weight loss isn't hard in theory and I know what to do. I have the tools to achieve it. But damn food addiction and binge eating are hard to kill. I just want to constantly eat even though I'm not hungry. I am still using My Fitness Pal and get angry every time I look how far over my deficit I've gone but I don't want to lie to myself by not tracking

I live in South Australia where restrictions have been slightly lifted and I was just starting to enjoy coffee shops/hikes again now that my kids are back at school. We now need to self isolate again whilst waiting on some test results (husband needs to confirm he just has a cold, not covid-19 so he can see a doctor about his lymph nodes). This happened the same day our fortnightly pay came in so I've got spending money. I keep ordering food in mindlessly.

I've managed to stick to my calorie deficit so far today and have 800 cal left for a snack + dinner but I haven't made the greatest food choices so far. I've ordered in coffee twice and had a hot cross bun for breakfast followed by bacon. I just want to order food in. Pizza, noodles, burgers, chips, etc. I don't even think I'm hungry, 'm bored and I'm stuck inside with two kids under 6. I'm tired and I have a headache, I'm feeling exhausted and sick to the stomach.

I don't really know why I am writing this, I think I just needed to get it off my chest. I've filled up my water bottle and trying to sip on it consistently. I did eat left overs for my lunch today which was a win for me (I am terrible at eating food that's already prepared and waiting in the fridge, don't know why). We've got heaps of fruit in the kitchen so I think I'm just going to have an apple and maybe try to get the kids out the backyard before it rains. Some fresh air will hopefully help with my headache.

For some background information about me I am 26, 104kg and 5'3", I've been struggling with weight, anxiety and depression for most of my adult life.

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