Hi guys.
It's my first time posting something personal on here. I've been overweight all my life and stood out so much because being obese in Asia is rare. For Asian body types, our healthy BMI is 23 and below whereas I've hit 31 multiple times in my life and fluctuate between 32~28. Never at the healthy range.
I've tried everything you can name - counting calories, tracking macros, reading books on eating psychology, exercising, signing up for a gym membership. While all of those worked for a while and got me to a BMI of ~28, I always regained it because I have a very bad binge eating and emotional eating background. My mental health is also not exactly in the right place and I'm seeing a professional for it too.
Recently I decided to go to a doctor that deals with weight management. He listened to me very patiently and prescribed me a drug, phentermine, as a tool to help with the emotional eating. I'm well aware of the side effects and risks, but two weeks prior, I merely ran for 5 seconds to chase a bus and I was already seeing stars and almost fainted in public. I think me being the way I was was already a big risk to my health anyways so I took the plunge.
So far it's been one week on the drug, it doesn't seem to clash with my antidepressants, and for the first time in a while I'm genuinely eating "normally". I eat proper meals and don't snack in between. I'm more productive and when I'm stressed my mind does not go to food anymore and go to other things to unwind instead, the doctor suggested taking a stroll when I'm stressed. I'm also seeing a dietitian next week to make sure I'm eating enough while on the drug, and even when off the drug, I maintain the eating habits.
For sure, the doctor also told me clearly the weight has potential to all come back if I don't use this time to form healthy lifestyle habits. I'm well aware, because I did use it once when I was 15 (unethical doctor prescribing it to me before I was even an adult lol) and didn't do anything to change my habits, it all came back.
But this time? After 5-6 years of on and off attempts to fix my emotional eating and doing it alone? I'm trying it again with a whole different mindset. I'm seeing progress in my weight already, I'm strolling in the park to destress at least 4 times a week now which I never did before, and I genuinely feel happier I'm doing something.
Just one thing : I feel like I'm not allowed to be in the weight loss community sometimes because I had to seek help from external factors and wasn't strong enough to lose 50 pounds on my own. I mean, the initial weight loss will be aided with meds, but once I'm off it I have a lot to lose on my own. But the fact that I started with meds makes me afraid of stigma and what people will say. Like I'm not really part of this entire hard-working community and can't relate to some of the things that are said, even though I really feel like I'm on the same journey of self love and lifestyle change.
This is the turning point in my life and my road to inner peace, I just feel ashamed sometimes I had to get help for something a lot of people do on their own, even I wanted to do it on my own. I did and I tried. I think I still am?
Just need some reassurance and big hugs, thank you for reading this far <3
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2QTs214
No comments:
Post a Comment