DAE get sick of people reassuring you that you’re still “pretty” when you say you’re fat?

this is kind of a rant so bear with me

So I’m pretty overweight/obese, and I recently had a conversation with a friend where I told her I was looking at wedding dresses (because my bf and I are planning on getting married here in a couple of years). She asked when we were getting married and I half jokingly said “when I’m skinny enough to fit into the dresses I sent you pics of lol” and she immediately went in on the “shut up you’re pretty the way you are” stuff.

I get that it’s coming from a nice place, but it’s just stupid. My opinion of myself is that I’m fat, and it’s not delusional because the scale and my subpar health agree. I’m 230 pounds and 5’10 and about as weak as a limp noodle so you know it’s not muscle. I just want to be able to frankly state the obvious when it comes up or jokingly say something about it without people falling over themselves to reassure me I’m still “pretty”. I literally responded to my friend “pretty for a fat girl LOL” because it’s true. I’m glad I am pretty for a fat girl but goddamn if I wouldn’t look smokin at a more ideal and attractive weight. And no one can tell me I’m wrong for wanting that!

I’m currently on a weight loss journey and I’ve lost 30+ pounds so far, and you know what it’s hard. I have to think about it every day. I have to watch what I eat and constantly remind myself of my goals when cravings for pizza or brownies comes up. And one of the biggest motivators for me now is losing weight for my wedding which honestly thank god isn’t going to be possible until 2023 so I have plenty of time to lose the 100 pounds I want to.

Sorry but I don’t want to walk down the aisle looking like this. I don’t want to worry about getting sweaty and out of breath for my bf and I’s first dance as husband and wife. I don’t want flappy bingo wings when I go to throw my bouquet. I don’t want to deal with the insecurity of knowing how fat I’ll look while our photographer takes pictures that we are supposed to treasure forever.

And sure, being skinny and in shape isn’t going to be magical “happy pill” that will rid me of all of my insecurities. I know that. But being fat makes my insecurities about looking unattractive worse because to me fat people are just generally unattractive. That’s my personal opinion, and it applies to me as well. I absolutely love myself and think I’m pretty and amazing regardless of my weight of course!

But personally for me I know I will be much happier at a healthy weight, not only because of the obvious health and energy benefits but because I USED TO BE that thin. And I was much happier and more comfortable in my skin. I felt more like ME. Being in a fat body is alien to me, even though over the past 5 years I have steadily blown up. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been fat, it will never feel like ME.

I was an athletic teen/young adult. Pretty fit, worked out a bunch. I miss how bouncy and full of energy I felt ALL THE TIME. And I know some of that isn’t going to come back just because I’m older now. But I would like to not struggle to get off a low couch, break a sweat from walking to the mailbox on a 70 degree day, and generally just feel like garbage constantly.

So yes, I’m pretty, sure. But I AM fat and it’s okay that I say so because it’s the objective truth and nobody needs to come comfort and reassure me that I’m still pretty. Damn I never said I was ugly!

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