Oh boy its been so long since ive used reddit. Apologizing in advance for the camera quality of the 2nd photo (the before), i love wearing black but of course with a black floor it is hard to see a little. Or it may be because im not wearing my glasses while posting this. Anyway, hello again!! Results are here!! (https://imgur.com/sXCE3ZF) . Now onto a little 'rant' of sorts on how i felt since it feels good to write stuff like this. Ill include a TLDR at the bottom, because i wanna get this out! (the two pictures are in the same place, I just dyed my hair,it grew longer and we built a wall!)
I wanted to write a little about why and how i did it. I never thought i could do it, yet here i am, loving myself more and more every day. (For reference, I am 162.5cm/JUST under 5'4, and my BF in the right (old) photo was around 33-35%. The left is around 28% BF.) The most wondrous thing as well, is that my journey isn't even complete. I still have 20lbs more to lose till i'm at my goal weight (albeit at a slower rate, probably) and then I am going to hit the weights and eat my greens in hopes I can build some nice muscles. I already have quite muscly legs and arms, so my core is my main focus once it becomes visible under this podge.
End of July i had a big breakdown. I weighed 163lbs. Continuously told im 'Not that big.'. On the other hand someone had coined that i was the "fat sister" now. The women in my family are all notoriously small (both in weight and height. My mom weighed around 90lbs up until a few years ago when she went through the menopause. My sisters all average around my height and 100-125lbs.). I woke up the next morning, went grocery shopping, and bought everything healthy i could find. I learned how to cook. Instead of snacking on chocolate and cooking large portions of cream pasta, I ate bean salads, curry and made my own chili, and opted to snack on raisins, grapes, raspberries. I eat relatively high carb for the amount of weight im losing (i average around 150-170 grams per day). I have tried keto and it left me drained, well after the keto flu should have passed. I try to eat as much fiber as i can. Any legumes, beans, lentils etc. I will eat. I changed out white bread for rye bread. Although one carb i am not switching is my rice!! Half of my plate (or dish, in case of stuff like curry/chili) is veggies. Carrots, broccoli, zucchini, eggplant, you name it!
My only gripe with my weight loss is my weight loss pattern (and maybe slight body dysmorphia?). And I know so many people struggle with it as well. I eat 1200-1400calories a day. My TDEE is around 2100. I walk 10km a day (around 6 miles) at a brisk pace. This averages out to 15000 steps a day, and burns around 300 or 400 calories. Some days i naturally slip under eating the healthy amount, and some days i eat over, but the exercise i do helps regulate my weight loss evenly so i dont lose too much, or too little. Up until 5lbs or so ago, I lost weight almost every day, with no stopping. Recently for the past few weeks i stay the same weight for 4 days, then drop a large amount in a day or two. For example, I weighed in last week at 146lbs in the morning, and for the next few days i would stay that weight. Then one day randomly, bam, I weigh 144lbs, i lost 2lbs overnight. PRETTY sure this is water weight due to stress and my carby diet. I dont mind it, but it has got me thinking if i should lower the carbs a tiny bit and eat more protein. As long as my diet has me feeling energized through my workout and day and shows results, then to me it is a good diet. I drink two cups of green tea a day to hydrate on top of normal water, so i can really 'saturate' my body with water so it doesnt feel like it needs to hold onto any. Here's to hoping it works!
This has contributed to me feeling like i haven't lost anything at all. I will bloat and look in the mirror and pick myself apart. It sounds horrible but my friends are all 'competing' with me now that i have lost the weight. They pick me apart too. They remark about that they have eating disorders, making fun of other bodies similar to mine while uplifting their own. Real men love curves. Girls with big boobs are weird. Hourglass shapes are overhyped, too fat, too skinny, You name it all, I've heard it. Then at the opposite spectrum, friends of mine also remark how i looked 'perfect' at 105-110lbs despite the fact i was almost underweight and very stressed. How body positivity has 'ruined women' and ruined me. I feel like i will be hated no matter what weight i am at. However many are supportive and tell me that the weight where i feel healthy is the best. This is probably the hardest part of it all, trying to believe yourself when even your own eyes hate your reflection, I would have given up by now if it wasn't for me having scales and positive people around me. (I know i should drop people like the ones i have mentioned, but they are fine until weight is mentioned. Then they get iffy, insecure almost). I love myself, but some days it really does wane due to other people.
TLDR; I lost 20lbs in two months, first major weight loss of my life, i ate a lot of veggies and fiber and logged my calories, burned around 300-400cals in exercise each day, weight loss staggers due to water weight sometimes which is annoying, peoples opinions about my body are also annoying. Thank you for reading <3
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