Hello everyone. I will be turning 27 this December. I want to share something about me that's bothering me alot thats ofcourse related to my weight. I have been overweight since whole my childhood and I come from a society where girls are bullied even when they are just 10yr and you know what their families bully them. Well by the time I turned 18 I was in obese category according to my BMI. And now I have been suffering from pcos for the last 7yrs. I have lost my hair I have lost my beauty I have lost every beautiful thing I had. Now I am nothing but just a bag of sloth. During my university time I felt so uncomfortable in my body that I stopped talking to people I had no Friends at all I felt I looked like a shit that's why I won't be accepted. Even at that time I looked better but people around me made me feel that and you know what now I actually look like a big buffalo. I am hating myself I dont like my body. Everytime I go out I feel ashamed I can see in the eyes of people the look they give me over my weight. I want to get rid of it. But I feel I am unable to do that. Everytime a mood swing carry away my motivation to loose weight. I have been prescribed some treatment for pcos and thats not hormonal pills it's just metformin and inositol but I don't take either. Idk why I am going opposite to what I want. I overeat I eat emotionally. I just want to get rid of my weight. Every 6mon my dress size is increasing for the last 2yrs. Since 2018 I was in a toxic relationship that's gave boost to my low self esteem and emotional eating. It ended up in Feb 2020. But the 2019 was a terrible time. I suffered alot. I had emotional loss and academic loss. And now I am here. I have compensated my academic loss and emotional loss is also being handled well but this gift of more weight that came along with it is not going anywhere. I am not blaming anyone for my physique. It's me just me. My mind set. I am not consistent. I don't even walk and I don't even eat healthy or take my treatment. I do have alot of time but still I am unable to make it. I feel like I will never reach there. What should I do now? Max effort I have put it just lasted a month and again I am back to my bad routine. I feel like failure. My BMI is 32. My weight is 71kgs thats 156.52 pounds. My healthy weight is between 45-50 so I need to lose 20kgs. I want to feel confident again. Recently I went out a week ago. I was looking so fat so unattractive I felt uncomfortable in my body. I don't fit into my favorite clothes. What should I do to stay consistent in my weight loss journey?
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