Hey guys, so I (28F, 200lbs(90kg)SW, 130lbs(59kg)CW 5'7"(170cm)) lost my weight over the course of about 2 years and have kept it off for the better part of 3 years. Lately I've been having a lot of mental health issues and they've very much been worsened by my body dysmorphia. So, for all of you who are starting out on your weight loss journey because of New Years resolutions or a generalized desire for change I wanted to share some tips for getting to where you want to be and LIKING yourself when you get there. I do not want anyone else to get to the end and feel like a failure. I constantly feel like a failure and while the rational part of my brain knows this isn't true the part that exists on its own is unfortunately more powerful, so here's a list of things I wish I had done to prevent that from happening (because in hindsight it was 100% preventable).
1) A lot of people (myself included) when they start the weight loss journey have in their head this image of what their body will look like when they've finished losing the weight. This is not a great way of looking at yourself. Fat will come off where it wants to, you have no say in that. I'm at the low end of healthy BMI and I have belly rolls. I hate them. I also went from D cups to A cups. It's maddening. Compared to what I was it's wonderful, but compared to what I wanted it's failure. It's hard looking at myself and thinking that all my work led to failure. This is absolutely not how ANYONE else sees me. This is all in my head, but my head is loooooud. Do not ever let those thoughts in, and do not let those thoughts drive your weight loss journey. Be proud of your progress and celebrate being healthy. Do not pursue a specific image when you have no idea whether or not your body will actually let it happen. Pursue health and celebrate the features that improve as they improve.
2) Dieting is not a punishment. Millions of people have gained and lost weight for whatever reason. You do not need to punish yourself for indulging in food when it tastes amazing and makes you feel great. You also do not need to STOP indulging in food. Food is fantastic. What is important is understanding what foods you eat because you genuinely love them and what foods you eat because they're there. For example, I love LOVE burgers. Love them. Love them so effing much. You know what I don't love nearly as much? French fries. You know what has a hell of a lot more calories than your average burger? French fries. You know what every goddamn burger comes with? French fries. Don't get me wrong, I love french fries but I don't crave them like I crave burgers. Same with potato chips. If they're in the house I eat the whole bag, but if they're not in the house I don't even think about them. I love them, but don't crave them. Eat your cravings, but eat them responsibly. Craving pizza? Get a personal sized pizza and have some steamed veggies beforehand to fill up your stomach. Craving pasta? Same deal. Craving chocolate? Maybe a chocolate mousse instead of chocolate cake. And hell, if you want chocolate cake eat chocolate cake. People who are "naturally" thin tend to eat anything they want but can listen to when their body says "ok that's enough". Your body will eventually click into this state. Don't punish yourself by not eating the things you love, just be conscious of what's going in.
3) Plateaus and ups and downs are normal. Do not be discouraged. Do not feel like you're failing. I plateaued at 170lbs and 150lbs for mooooonths. I even got down to 140, then went back up to 150. I have since been steady at 130 for years. Ups and downs are not failures. Plateaus are not failures. They're as normal as normal can be.
4) Your goal should be health, not image. Be healthy. Unfortunately, being overweight/obese/underweight/normal weight is directly linked to your health. The type of and amount of food you eat is also directly related to your health. Even if/when you plateau, yo-yo, or reach the end and aren't happy with how you look, focus on HEALTH. The stuff you eat, the things you do, the choices you make. A healthy lifestyle leads to a better life. More energy, lower risk for many many diseases, being stronger in general, being happier in general. Health is related to all of these things. Be healthy. Even if you plateau. Even if you gain weight. Think about whether or not what decisions you're making are healthy. If they are you're fine. You're absolutely fine.
The takeaway is be kind to yourself. It's a journey and it's a lifestyle change. It takes time. It's difficult. It's the hardest easy thing you'll ever do (calories in/calories out sounds so simple on paper...). Do not ever punish yourself. Do not compare yourself to someone else. And above all, don't get discouraged if things don't go the way you planned, if you don't lose as fast as you wanted or don't look the way you expected. Be kind to yourself and good luck on your weight loss journeys ❤️
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