I stopped giving myself harsh weight deadlines, and for the first time, I am feeling hopeful that I'm going to ride this thing out instead of quitting for the hundredth time.

I think I've finally cracked the code on why I fail at reaching my goal, over and over and over again. I'm 27 and have been riding this weight loss rollercoaster since I was a teenager. I've lost and gained the same 20, 30 pounds what seems like a million times, and still, I sit here, obese.

I've done all the different diets, I've tried all the different exercise regimens, tried all the motivational tools like having an exercise buddy or trying to be active on the MFP forums. But there has always been one constant: I force myself into these tiny constricted boxes of "I need to lose this much weight by this event." My birthday, a 4th of July party, a wedding, whatever. It was exciting to think about going to this thing and feeling great about myself for hitting a big milestone. But if I had a day where I didn't stick exactly to my diet, or I had a week where my weight didn't move because weight just does that sometimes, I would stress, hard. Tell myself that I'd work EXTRA hard to make up for it to meet my goal. And here it would come, after one or two months of this, the inevitable burn-out. I'd get burnt out on eating right, on exercising, and give up completely. Because I already failed, so what's the point, right? I'd always go from 0-100 right out the gate and get worn out before too long.

And then it hit me the other day, as I was thinking about how "I would like to lose x amount by this event," that...everyone already knows what my body looks like. Everyone already knows that I'm fat. It's not like I'm going to show up and people would be aghast at what I look like, like they're seeing me for the first time ever. THEY ALREADY KNOW. So why am I trying so hard and burning myself out trying to meet these unrealistic goals to impress people who already know what I look like and love me anyway?

So, it just kind of clicked for me. I'm down 20 pounds now and still going strong. Not feeling burnt out or like I want to quit. Not feeling like a failure because I have a piece of pizza one day. Working toward living a generally healthier life, eating better and being more active, not forcing myself into a strict diet that I hate after a few days. Like this week, I know my calories have been good, and I've been active, but the scale hasn't moved. This would normally cause me SO much stress that I'd just throw the whole day and feel terrible. But it's okay if the scale hasn't budged this week! I know I'm doing things right and it'll catch up eventually. I'm not trying to impress anyone, I'm just trying to change my life for the better.

P.s. I know everyone is different, and for some, having hard goals like that are a big motivator to stay on track. And I'm not trying to say that wanting to be down so much by a big event in your life is bad! I was just setting myself up for failure, and it doesn't work for me. I couldn't celebrate the weight I DID lose, it was always just, "but I didn't reach this exact goal, so I did something wrong."

submitted by /u/amanthasann
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/33giHq8