Monday, May 17, 2021

Update: 20 lbs lost

34F 6’1” SW 205 CW 185 GW 154

I posted here a while back celebrating my first 10 lbs lost and got a lot of support and advice, so I’m coming back with an update: 52 days of calorie counting in and I have now lost 20 lbs total and am 31 lbs away from my goal.

While the first few weeks were very hard I soon got used to 1900 calories and on some days found myself eating 1600 or 1500 calories and not feeling the need to eat anymore. I’m still running every few days for exercise and have started planking every day to start to develop some upper body strength and tone my middle. My next step is going to be buying weights for my arms.

Some people suggested looking at the before and after pictures from my last post that I really didn’t need to lose that much weight so I’m posting NSFW pics this time because my height makes me look thinner than I am in clothes.

https://imgur.com/a/5QVgmn7

I may end up changing my goal weight from 154 lbs to 164 lbs if I can develop some muscle and look more toned. I think a lean strong appearance appeals to me more now that I am older than the waifish model look I coveted in the past.

Something I did which helped me a lot was start a private Instagram account just for myself where I posted a picture or two related to my weight loss journey every day: my meals, a screenshot of my running stats, or photos of myself from different angles.

I noticed my relationship with food has changed, as for instance on Mother’s Day I overate for the first time in a long time at the family gathering, and realised I didn’t enjoy doing that at all and should reconsider why I had been doing it like it was just expected of me at parties and gatherings my whole life. I find that I don’t crave foods or eat my feelings like I used to. Also, some days I ate too little when I didn’t see my weight drop for a few days, and ended up feeling weak and depressed, so decided I would not do that either and honor my body. However I still drink too much and unfortunately have been smoking more since I started dieting (used to smoke a couple cigarettes a day, am now at like 10). I’m an anxious and emotional person and I seem to try to remedy that with whatever substance is available. It’s actually got me thinking of going back to therapy. Definitely need to address the smoking thing soon as I do NOT want to be smoking that much.

So that’s it guys! Hopefully by my next post I’ll have reached my goal weight and be more toned! Much love and strength to everyone on this journey!

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