TL;DR: My GF wants to lose weight but doesn't want to put in any kind of effort. Our mutual agreement to be weight loss buddies quickly became ineffective for her and any kind of motivation and encouragement from me is now met with annoyance or aggressive behavior from her.
So my GF has expressed frustration on multiple occasions over having gained weight over the past 2 years. She sometimes shows 3-4 year old pictures of herself to me and mentions with regret that the clothes in those photos don't fit her anymore. She also told me that she was in better shape because she exercised regularly but hasn't in quite a while. I lost about 17 kg 5 years ago - mainly by CICO - but gained some of it back in the past year. So seeing an opportunity to help her out while losing a bit of weight myself, I offered to be her weight loss buddy. I thought that it would be easier for both of us as we could motivate each other because I didn't really have the drive to lose weight on my own again. At the time, she seemed open to the idea and agreed. I explained to her how CICO works, we calculated her TDEE and BMR and I had her download the same app I used so she could easily track her meals. She also got her old fitness DVDs out, which were a big part of her workouts a few years ago. Everything seemed to be on track.
Fast forward a couple of months and our little weight loss program is going poorly. She stopped tracking her daily calories honestly after only a few days and only does it rarely anymore. I try to remind her every now and then in a friendly manner and even try to make it easier for her by offering to count for her that day or to help her quickly weigh anything she plans to eat, but I get immediately annoyed reactions from her. She's also eating poorly and having a bunch of chocolate and candy on most days. I mostly keep up with counting my calorie intake and I'm making slow but steady progress with my weight loss. But I feel like it's getting harder and harder because I enjoy many of the unhealthy things she eats while at home and I sometimes can't control myself. Receiving no motivation from her doesn't help either.
Our amount of exercise also went down considerably. We started with doing 20 mins of one of her DVDs daily, regularly switching up routines. But we quickly reduced that to 3 workouts per week. Now it's more like once a week, if even that. In the beginning, she had no problem doing the workouts daily but nowadays there's always the "I don't want to today, leave me alone. I'm doing it tomorrow." excuse. If I somehow get her to work out with me by showing enthusiasm and encouraging her, she tries for a bit but then shuts the video off angrily as soon as it gets a bit more intense. And with her not wanting to exercise properly anymore, I find it hard to put in the effort myself.
Yesterday, I tried to introduce a fixed weigh-in day and time every two weeks so we both have a better understanding of our weight and our progress. She agreed. Today, I weighed myself first and then asked her to do so as well before breakfast in order to get a reliable result. She rolled her eyes, went and came back, fully clothed. I asked her if she weighed herself with clothes on. She said yes. I calmly explained that in order to get the most accurate results possible, we have to weigh ourselves without any clothes on. She instantly became pissed and stormed off. I followed her and offered to weigh just her heavy clothes so she can subtract the weight from what the scale showed. She screamed "NO!" over and over as I tried to comfort her and told her that it'll just take a few seconds and that it's important to get comparable results. Eventually, she took all of her clothes off and threw them at me aggressively while yelling at the same time. I quickly weighed them and then came to her while she was crying profusely. Mind you, she sometimes starts to cry when a tiny thing doesn't exactly go as she expected it to. I asked her what's wrong, got no response and then explained why it's a good idea to invest the few seconds it takes to properly weigh in every two weeks. She told me that I'm a psychopath and that I need therapy because of my weight loss "obsession" and that she hates me because of it.
All I do is sporadically remind her of keeping track of her calories when I notice that she has no idea how much she's eaten. Regarding our workouts, I wanted to get us both to 3 times a week again but that didn't work for the last couple of weeks, mainly because I can't convince her and also because I don't want to work out on my own.
The thing is, when it comes to plans and ideas to lose weight, she's always up for anything and even does a lot of stuff herself (ordering workout clothes and equipment online, buying protein shakes or specifically healthy food, joining a rewards program for walking a certain amount of steps in 12 weeks using a phone app, etc.) but as soon as any amount of actual effort is required, all of her motivation is instantly gone and she's back to laying in bed and eating candy. At the same time, she's still consistently unhappy with her weight and the fit of her clothes and keeps saying that she's fat and how she was so much better looking a few years prior. I don't agree with her being truly fat but seeing her unhappy and desperate to come up with ways to lose weight makes me want to help her out in some way. I would be extremely grateful if someone would encourage me and offer me the help I need in order to lose weight like I try to do for her. But all I get from her for that is hostility and insults. So AITA for wanting to help her?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Bxf95V
No comments:
Post a Comment