Hi everyone! I’ve been actively losing weight since January 2018 (almost a year ago, wow!). For context, 22F, 5’3, SW 181lbs, CW 156lbs, GW 130lbs. LoseIt has been super helpful in my journey, and I’ve also discovered a love for weightlifting and running.
So. Onto my current speed bump. I lost around 25lbs pretty quickly, from about February to August, and then pretty much stalled since starting my university term in September. I’ve hovered around 153-156 ever since then. I was a few pounds heavier for almost all of high school — I don’t think I was ever a healthy BMI in my teens or adult life. If I believed in “set points” I’d say this was mine, but that’s BS. I want to lose another 20lbs at least! I don’t want to settle for 155!
I think what’s going on is related to my eating habits. The main issue that I think is holding me back is a serious case of “fuckit-itis”. What will happen is that I’ll eat something “unhealthy” or high-calorie that doesn’t fit in my plan (let’s say, a cookie at a work meeting) and itll just throw me into a tailspin. I’ll just take it as permission to “let loose” and eat like trash for the rest of the day. It doesn’t even bring me joy or happiness. It’s just miserable numbing comfort. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even keep things like crackers, granola bars, cereal, homemade bran muffins, nuts, popcorn, etc in my apartment because as soon as it’s in my space, I feel this impulse to just eat it and get it out of my life. Like “oh if I eat all of this now I won’t have to deal with it later” which is not a healthy way to think.
I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m at a stressful point in my term (exam season) so these episodes have increased in frequency. I’ve gained a few pounds in the past month already (not as many as I thought I would though). While it would be easy for me to say this behaviour will stop when my stress is reduced, I don’t want my life to be controlled by food. I obviously want to lose weight and hit my GW, but it’s almost secondary right now because my relationship with food is so bonkers and it’s holding me back. I feel gross when I gorge on food and it’s not good for my health mentally or physically.
I would talk to my therapist about this, but while she is really awesome, she’s a very firm believer “Health at Every Size!” and has encouraged me to just stop tracking my intake altogether because she thinks weight loss is impossible in the long term. Lovely person, helpful, but not in this particular instance.
I’d really appreciate any tips you lovely, amazing people could offer. Has anyone else gone through this? Overcome it? I know I’ll probably have to be conscious of my intake and habits for the rest of my life, but I want to be at a point where food does not control me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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