((I apologize in advance - I am not a person who does brevity very well!))
A little over a year ago, I shared my experience of losing 156 lbs in my first year of weight loss - you can find that post here. It goes into my backstory, how I started, what I did to lose weight (/what I’m still doing to lose weight), and my thoughts on the entire process to that point.
I’ve been back and lurking for a little while after a really busy year that didn’t leave much time for perusing Reddit, but I wanted to share an update on the last 15 months.
When I started losing weight, my initial goal was to the lose the 70 lbs I’d gained over two years of my eating getting worse, which caused me to gain weight, which caused my activity and mobility to decrease dramatically, which caused me to gain even more weight. Once I lost 100 lbs and realized that my body didn’t just “want to be 330 lbs” (the weight I had stabilized at for the prior 5 years), I figured: “I lost 100 lbs in six months, I’ll lose 50 in the next six months, and 50 in the next year” – and that’s basically what happened.
I hit 200 lbs lost/half my body weight in June 2018, and was below 200 lbs by July. I’ve been taking a little bit of a mental break from active weight loss for the last few months. I’ve essentially maintained a 200+ lb loss for the last 4-6 months and am currently sitting around 197-200 lbs when not experiencing the bloat that comes from holiday eating after losing a bunch of weight. My next goal is to lose another 20 lbs or so to reach an overweight BMI and pursue skin removal on my abdomen and torso.
My second year of weight loss has been marked by a less dramatic physical transformation (there’s very real truth to the paper towel effect, but the shape of my body hasn’t always allowed me to see the reality of that situation), and a much more dramatic mental transformation, especially in relation to food.
Coming from over 400 lbs, and a lifetime of super morbid obesity prior, I was still able to fudge some numbers in my tracking (I really don’t know if I realized I was doing this), unconsciously snack a little more, and be more lenient in my food choices while still losing weight at a rapid clip. As I’ve gotten smaller, my TDEE has lowered and my weight loss has slowed, so I’ve had to actually confront the habits that I thought I’d already dealt with. Namely, eating when I was bored, upset, or felt out of control in a situation.
For the first year of my weight loss, I relied really heavily on always having snacks at the ready, especially at work where my boredom eating was most prevalent. I’d always have a yogurt or container of veggies ready to go, and would count down the minutes until I could justify eating again. It was a way for me to manage my ever-present hunger and mostly stick to my calorie goals, but I realized last year that it didn’t do anything to actually teach me how to eat like a “normal person” or in a way that I wanted to eat for the rest of my life. I relied on the snacks throughout the day, which meant that the meals I was eating were ultimately less filling and so I continued to rely on the snacks in a self-perpetuating cycle.
The past six months have been a really positive lesson in understanding my hunger, in learning to eat larger/more nutritious/more filling meals, and in reintroducing some of the higher-calorie foods I’d avoided for the first year, and how to portion them appropriately (REAL PEANUT BUTTER, IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN).
I have also experienced, for the first time in my life, instances of what I’ve called “out of control” eating – moments of just inhaling everything that I had historically been really good about portion-controlling. All of those instances were during a period this summer where I was working 50+ hours a week at my day job and 12-18 hours a week at a second job, where sleep was in low supply and stress was off the charts. I eventually quit my second job, took time to regroup, and haven’t experienced any out of control eating since.
Other magic I’ve experienced in my second year of weight loss: I ran an entire mile for the first time, and then 2.5 miles without stopping. I ran most of a hilly 5k in 90 degree heat in under 37 minutes, which is just amazing to me because prior to 2017, the last time I “”””jogged”””” a mile was during the Presidential Fitness Test in middle school, and I always had to do it twice because I couldn’t jog/walk a mile in the allotted 18 minute timeframe. I’ve continued to just love being outside, which is a real turn of events for someone who used to make shitty comments about people who hiked because they went outside?? Willingly?????
The other huge mental shift I’ve experienced this year has been in my mentality towards and approach to my life and happiness. The way I approach relationships and tasks and stressful situations is so incredibly different than it was a year ago. I can’t complain about something if I don’t do anything about it – I can’t complain about drowning in debt if I don’t figure out a budget or get a second job to try to offset my bills (I was able to pay down about $7,000 of credit card debt before choosing to quit my second job, and have a plan for continuing). I can’t blame someone else for bringing my favorite cookies into work – the choice to eat one is mine. I can’t complain about having a disorganized house if I never take the time to go through my things or clean. I can’t complain about my lack of flexibility if I never stretch. And I never stretch so. What’re you gonna do?
There have been some “down sides” to extreme weight loss:
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My body looks super weird, but it looked super weird 2 years ago too, so I can’t be too upset about it.
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My hair thinned a bit but has filled back out.
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I started experiencing some back pain and nausea in November, and found out a few days later that I had gallstone the size of a ping pong ball just hanging out in my gallbladder – thought I’d made it through my weight loss without any gallbladder issues, but that lil meatball just stayed silent until she couldn’t anymore. I had my gallbladder removed laparoscopically a few days later, and surgical recovery was actually kind of a breeze (minus the jaundice/elevated liver function from a gallstone blocking my common bile duct after surgery – which worked itself out on its own - and the worst constipation I ever hope to experience – NINE. DAYS.). I do want to note that regardless of the peanut butter comment above, I did not/do not have a super low fat diet that caused my gallstones - it seems to be pretty luck of the draw with rapid/extreme weight loss - I didn’t eat peanut butter for a while because it was a food I ate way too much of as a child and it was difficult for me to portion it appropriately.
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I sometimes struggle to find clothes that fit my body appropriately because of the way my loosened skin/fat hangs on my upper abdomen that are not also just giant sacks.
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I’m annoyed that I’ve had to purchase five wedding bands since getting married in April of 2017 (I planned ahead and have gone the $10 sterling silver bands from Amazon route until my weight stabilizes).
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I still have sleep apnea, but the pressure required to treat it has gone down dramatically and my sleep doctor has recommended doing a second sleep study once I hit my goal weight.
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I somehow simultaneously have an entirely flat chest and DDs. It's magic!
But honestly, none of that really holds a candle to the joy I experience from the life I’ve built for myself.
Life has changed dramatically – the physical transformation has been mind-blowing, but the mental transformation has really just changed the way I approach almost everything in my life in a more productive, positive way. I call myself on my own bullshit REGULARLY, and force myself to step back and assess my approach to most things before reacting rashly. I know that I am almost single-handedly responsible for my long-term success or failure, and I feel a very real freedom in that.
I am so amazed and inspired by anyone who takes the steps necessary to change their life. There's no right way or path to becoming a better version of yourself, but I hope you find joy in the process and find a way to live a life you love and are proud of <3
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2C0R1aP
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