Hi loseit, I've seen lots of posts and comments recently discussing the mental aspects of losing a large amount of weight and decided to make a post about something that's been bothering me.
It seems like I don't look like a fat person anymore, but inside, I don't feel any different. I'm starting to notice all kinds of automatic behaviours I've developed during my years of being obese.
Mortified of being The Fat Girl, being noticable wherever I go, every minute I'm trying to counteract the prejudices I'm expecting others to have. Being extra nice and likeable, almost subservient: please don't hate me because I'm fat. Always looking my best no matter if I'm just taking out the trash: please don't think I'm sloppy. Walking extra fast, working extra hard: don't think I'm lazy because I'm fat. Always trying to take up less space, keeping my head down, not being too loud, being inconspicious in every way: please don't notice me. This is where "getting compliments on weight loss is horrible" comes in, too.
But every time I behave this way, I'm enforcing my own feeling of being worth less than others, not being worth attention or affection. No one should feel this way actually, regardless of body weight.
What are your experiences with this? Do you know what I mean? Does it get better by itself? What are ways to work on this feeling? Losing weight has NOT changed ANY thing about it so far.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2RqYF98
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