My family and I had dinner with my mom two days ago, she made spaghetti and meatballs with cheesey garlic bread and corn. My mom isn't the greatest cook but it was okay and I had a very light lunch that day so I had room to indulge in a bunch of carbs. I ended the day over 100 calories below my calorie goal. During dinner we were talking about my food choices lately and my weight loss this last year. I've lost about 70 lbs and have several more to go. My mom is losing weight but in the most unhealthy way ever. She even says that every time we talk about food, how she's upset the way she's losing weight and how she wishes it would be different. Anyway she told me my problem growing up was that I just always loved to eat too much, so she just kept cooking food I didn't like so that I would eat less and hopefully lose weight. I was floored. I justed started at her with her shit eating grin on her face like she's a fucking genius. No wonder I shoved food in my face all the time and developed a short term low key eating disorder my sophomore year in highschool. I spent so much money on food at school. Someone brought cupcakes, I'll have 5 please!! I live on my own now, eat McDonald's everyday!! I was fat, she didn't teach me how to eat properly. I gained weight even more when living in my own and fending for myself (not to mention medication influences). Now at 37 years old I've finally figured out proper nutrition. Just this year I figured out why your body would eat at it's own lean muscle if you don't eat enough for long enough. I finally understand how calories work and what proper portions look like. I've tried to lose weight over a dozen times. But after years I'm never going back. I've never been this thin in my life. That night made me realize that I'm not broken, I was just not raised in a healthy way, and I know now. I've worried thought this whole process that my daughter who also loves food would have to go through the same struggles as me, but she won't. She will learn to love food and appreciate what is appropriate for her. She will learn what her body needs to be healthy. I will make her try foods that she may not like but I will not manipulate her with food!! Food is to share and enjoy, not to sneak and hide in your room from your family. Food is nourishment not rewards.
TLDR: My mom manipulated me with food growing up because I liked to eat. Just found out two days ago. I'm pissed. Now I know and I don't have to worry that will happen to my own daughter.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2SrDmQZ
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