I had a really horrible moment this past weekend where I saw a photo of myself (149 lbs) and was awakened to the fact that no, I am still nowhere near “slim” or even normal looking.
When I started this journey, I was 210+ lbs. I don’t have many photos of that time period but I know it wasn’t cute. I’ve lost 60 lbs since then and 13 of them this year. My clothes fit better, I’ve gone down a size or two in shirts, and my workouts have gotten easier. I guess in my head I thought I must look GREAT because of all the progress.
This weekend we went out for celebratory drinks with some friends and someone snapped a picture of me not from straight on. They texted it to me later on and my jaw absolutely dropped. I expected a little stomach pooch, some moderately thick arms, etc, but what I saw looked grotesque to me.
My stomach stuck out and rolled, my face was round and puffy, and my paints were straining around my thighs. 60 lbs of weight loss and I still look...well, like crap. Since then I’ve been super depressed and feel like I don’t even want to be around people. The wind is just completely gone from my sails and I feel like even if I keep losing weight it’ll be a loooong time before I look the way I thought I did before that photo. Another year of dieting just to lose 15 more lbs and still be overweight for my height.
Has anyone else dealt with this? Mirrors and front-facing photos lying to you :(?
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