Hi all,
I've lurked here for a long time, taking bits of advice and admiring the hard work lots of you have done to make your lives better. Mostly, I've been super jealous of how great so many of you are at using willpower to make better choices. My entire life, I've been varying degrees of fat. In high school, I could still get a few dates here and there with cute girls in my class, but once I got to college, it's like all hell broke loose. Left to my own devices, foodwise, I started steadily gaining weight. Med school was even worse (hurray stress eating!). One of the most embarassing moments of my medical career had nothing to do with a flub in patient care or missed diagnosis, but rather when a dear friend and colleague of mine called me over to "talk for a second" in a corner of one of the patient wards, then poked my stomach and just said, "come on man, you need to get it together".
For years, I convinced myself that tomorrow/next week/after the holidays, I'm going to "get it together" and beat this thing...but I always find an excuse. I hate how my weight limits me. I work overseas part of the year in east Africa, and between not having the stamina to explore some of the natural beauty there and being stared and laughed at by locals every. single. day, it's incredibly demoralizing. Not being able to just get out and socialize (particularly with women) due to my own self image and self doubt issues is crippling. Being so paranoid on the tons of long flights I take every year, worried for the entire trip that the person sitting next to me is silently resenting me for being stuck next to them makes what should be a great experience (because I love flying) into a nightmare every time.
After the holidays this year, I weighed myself for the first time in probably a year...375lbs. THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE POUNDS. How did I let this happen to myself? It's disgusting, embarassing, harmful...there's just no adequate way to describe how much I hate it.
Two weeks ago, I started using LoseIt (after having it on my phone for months and not actually using it, because that's helpful, right?). The first week, I used what it estimated as my caloric goal for 2 lbs of weight loss per week. After one week, I didn't see the needle budge. So, I dropped my goal down to 1800 calories. This week, I've dropped 5 lbs. My plan is to keep sticking to that goal, slowly start working regular treadmill time in (because it is WAY to cold outside to go walking out there, plus I don't want people looking at this awful mess of a blob walking down the sidewalk), and see where this takes me.
In the meantime, I'm going to keep reading all the awesome stories and advice you guys post. You are seriously all rock stars, and hopefully having this account and staying involved here will keep me honest and on track so I can "get it together".
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2W92RZD
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