(Vent) My mother discussing my weight with her friends in support is making me even more insecure

I have lost almost 20kg / 44lbs since May (yay!), starting at 66kg/145lbs and I’m currently 47kg/103lbs

Anyway, for the past couple of months, I have for once in my life felt somewhat happy with my body!! My clavicle is to die for if I do say so myself, my tummy is quite squishy but not too bad. Once I drop the last 10lbs I’ll start trying to gain muscle if income allows it, replacing my walking with training.

My legs have always been my biggest insecurity. Its currently summer here in Australia, aka shorts and skirts. For the first time I felt comfortable wearing shorts outdoors. Yeah, I have cellulite, yeah my knees and inner thighs are a bit loose, but theyre not too bad!!! I figured its the last of the subcutaneous fat to go anyway since I thought loose skin is supposed to be paper thin? And I’m 19, I moisturise, loose skin shouldn’t be something to worry about.

My mum has been very proud of me and supportive during this whole journey. She has struggled with her weight her whole life. She will talk to her friends or anyone who will listen for hours about me. She goes into extreme detail about all my routines, though I think she does tend to over exaggerate tbh...

It honestly does bother me, but a part of me is thinking “wow finally I did something to be proud of”. She never talks about things she wouldnt want me to overhear, so she knows I know shes talking about these things. I don’t try to stop her. Maybe I should though...

While I was washing up in the bathroom, she was on the phone to her best friend aka someone who knows more about my weight loss journey than I do. Based on what I overheard, they’ve been discussing loose skin. My loose skin. Specifically on my legs. About how much I needed wanted to start toning.

I started sobbing immediately, all my insecurities suddenly being confirmed and once I was fit to leave the bathroom I ran to my bedroom to change into my winter pj’s to cover my shameful legs. Now all I see are gross old lady knees and wrinkly legs and cottage cheese skin. Everything else grosses me out, my stomach is all lumpy, my arms are baggy, my boobs have deflated, my cheeks are chubby. I dont look like how women under 50kg are supposed to look.

I don’t know what to do now. I already do as much bodyweight exercise as I can without burning myself out to the point I can’t function in other areas of my life. I feel so uncomfortable and insecure about having my body being discussed in so much detail, even when they’re being positive and complimenting me its still making me feel awful. am I overreacting? Shouldn’t I be happy about having supportive family, even if they’re talking about my body in such depth?

submitted by /u/femmesme
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