Hi everyone. Admittedly, I'm a bit new to this sub but I see a lot of great, positive energy here which is a wonderful motivator. So, I figured I'd share my piece with you all to hopefully help someone out there who might be in a similar situation as I was not too long ago.
Without going into graphic detail, I was a victim of an abusive relationship a few years ago. Prior to entering into that relationship, I was at my healthiest weight in my adult life at 350 lbs after having maxed out at 440 lbs (6'4" M, so I was obviously still quite overweight but... that was my best). Part of the abuse I suffered was that my best was "not good enough", and despite my continued efforts to lose weight the constant hounding and emotional manipulation by my ex and her family were incredibly damaging. I gained some weight back. Then the physical abuse started, and all bets were off. Food became my only happiness, but when the relationship finally ended and I escaped the nightmare, my reliance on eating to be happy stuck around. Around mid last year, I was at my lifetime heaviest at 480 lbs.
Depression is a strange beast, and it's going to effect everyone differently. I'm not a therapist or a doctor so I can't offer advice to solve your problems if you struggle with depression; the only thing I can do is provide my anecdotal solutions:
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Accept yourself and love yourself for who you are, right now. As silly as it sounds, the biggest barrier for me to break through was one of self-acceptance. Sure, I'm incredibly overweight. Sure, I've got a long journey ahead of myself. But hatred for oneself is about the only impenetrable barrier that stands firm between you and self-improvement. Hating yourself means not giving a damn about what you eat or how you spend your time. Loving yourself means accepting that the shell you've got here on earth is the only one you'll ever have, and despite past mistakes it's never too late to start again. My body is unhealthy, but my mind and my soul are beautiful, and I love myself enough to take the steps necessary to begin healing.
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Seek therapy if you can. Seek friends who can help. I understand that professional therapy is expensive and downright unobtainable to many people. I personally have never sought therapy, but I know how big of a help it can be to people. At the very least, you want friends or family who will love and support you no matter how bad things get. I also know not everyone is blessed with a loving family, but if you're in a situation where your family is distant or uncaring, make a new family for yourself. Find friends who care. Look for those who can share the load with you, and in return you help them bear the burdens of their lives. I don't know if I would have made it out the other side without the support of my closest friends - they can make all the difference. And if you feel entirely alone, don't get lost in your own head. There are people out there who want to help you and want to love you and want you to be happy - never forget it.
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Set attainable goals. Don't give up. When I finally decided "enough was enough", I created a goal plan for myself. I set specific bench marks of weight loss as to where I want to be, but I did not set date ranges. Approaching a deadline knowing you may not (or will not) meet it can be very discouraging. Instead, I simply push forward past each misstep and backslide to keep working towards achieving my goals. When I started my diet on Sept. 1st, I marked 40 lbs lost (440 lbs total) to be my first bench mark. As of today, I have met that bench mark. If I had told myself to meet that goal in only three months, I would have been disappointed. I slipped during the holidays, and spent almost all of January not following my diet as closely as I should have (which thankfully only resulted in a plateau and not much weight gained back). If I lost motivation from that, I wouldn't be here telling you of my accomplishment today - I'd probably be at the McDonald's drive-thru again. But if we persevere and we don't give up, we can keep moving towards those goals. And now that I've achieved my first bench mark, it's onward and downward to my next goal of 400 lbs. It might take me another 5 1/2 months to get there. It might take me more. But rest assured, I'll be working towards that goal, because I love myself enough to do it.
Remember that it's never too late to try again. I've been up and down in my weight loss journey many times in my adult life, and despite being in my 30s I'm not going to give up. I will lose the weight. I will achieve my goals. I will become healthier. And it's not to appease a significant other, or to get lots of likes on Facebook, or because society tells me to. I'm doing this because I love myself, and I want to be healthy and happy for many years to come. You can do it too - I believe in you.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2UUTUlt
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