As the one-year anniversary of my weight loss effort approaches, I'm reflecting on how much I've come to love my new lifestyle. I haven't always felt this way. I've dealt with diet burnout, scale fluctuations, and most recently, the dreaded "last ten pounds" plateau. And sometimes, even after all this time, all of those hours spent honing my discipline, resisting those dark chocolate-covered almonds feels like a battle I have to fight on a minute-to-minute basis. I don't always win -- in fact, I lost that battle last night. But the lessons I've learned through this journey are what have enabled me to get up and keep fighting every time.
I love knowing exactly what I'm putting into my body. I love hitting my macros. I love treating my body with respect and avoiding foods that trigger allergies (which I used to eat just because they tasted good). I love being made to slow down to weigh my food when preparing it. I love how much more mindful I am about food.
I love all of the foods that have become staples in my diet: avocado, whey protein smoothies, eggs, all the dark green veggies I can get my hands on, sweet potatoes, turkey bacon, so many delicious fruits, Greek yogurt, nut butter, coconut and olive oil, and my beloved Clif bars. I love being able to eat over my calories on special occasions like my birthday and Christmas knowing that life is too short to deny ourselves all pleasure, which is why we enjoy ourselves on those days, but also too short to spend it obese and sick, which is why we should strive for balance the other 90% of the time. I love being able to budget in treats, like the chocolate covered strawberries I bought for myself and will enjoy after work tonight as a Valentine's Day gift to myself. I love being able to forgive myself for making occasional mistakes like every other human being on this planet and move on after unintentional overeating.
I love exercise! I loved running my way through C25K back in the summer and I'm loving lifting now that I'm getting into it properly for the first time. I love how confident and capable it makes me feel. I love that endorphin rush. I love how it makes my body feel to push my muscles harder then they're used to and see my effort rewarded with a new PR.
And I think most importantly of all, I love myself now. Don't get me wrong -- this love isn't something that just happened to me. Losing weight in itself does not cause self-love (at least not in my case). I love myself because I nurtured the small amount of self-esteem that I found inside of me when I first started this journey, the part of me that cried out for acknowledgement when I mostly hated myself. Every time I make a healthy choice, I show myself love. Every time I make a therapy appointment, I show myself that I don't deserve unhappiness. Every time I choose to work out, I show my body care. Every time I drink enough water, I show my body respect. All of these changes have culminated in the realization that I deserve health, happiness, love, and respect.
I hope that the process will be as kind to you as it has been to me, whether you're starting your weight loss effort today or have been in it for a year or are a veteran maintainer. I also hope you can find it in yourself to speak kindly to yourself, to treat yourself with care, and to show yourself love in whatever form you most deeply need. Happy Valentine's Day 💖
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