I’m a FTM with a 7 month old. I gained 60 lbs during pregnancy. Yeah, that’s right 60. Don’t feel sorry for me, I used my pregnancy as an excuse to do what I wanted. Did the hormones make that decision to eat everything easier? Yes. Could I have been different? Also yes. Now I’m 7 months postpartum the only time I come out of sweats is on force and I have to wear my maternity clothes.
I’ve lost 20 of it. But I’m gaining again. It has to stop. I’m a miserable mess and constantly feel terrible. All I think about is how uncomfortable I am and how my clothes don’t fit as my pants and bra and underwear constantly cut into my skin. Yes I bought bigger. It doesn’t matter it still happens. I let it effect who I am to my husband. I let it make me depressed. I let MY weakness make me depressed.
The only way to change is eating different. I can not squeeze in gym time. Ok literally I can, but I won’t. Not yet.
Here’s my deal. I’m a full time student in a Biochemistry major, in class from 8am to 8pm on Tuesday and Thursdays. From 5-7 each morning i work my second job. My first job is 40 hours including weekend. (Do the math.. 40 hours in 5 days since the other two I’m at school = no days off). And did you forget I have a 7 month old? And when I am home and she’s sleeping I am studying because I’m paying for school so failing is not an option. And I sleep 4 hours a night to make it work, IF the baby sleeps. Haha, that’s funny to say.
I meal prep- but I also get too tired to be consistent. On those days I fail. I eat everything I shouldn’t. So much that it offsets all the work I’m doing. I eat so much and so poorly. It has to stop. I cannot go on looking, feeling and being so miserable because I am too weak to change.
So I’m trying something new. I’m telling my story to reddit in hopes I find solace in people who get it. My husband is tiny and eats what he wants and doesn’t understand my struggle, doesn’t have input or words of support or advice. Just straight up says i can’t help you I don’t get what you’re going through.
I will chronicle my journey. For anyone who cares or doesn’t, I hope one person can be impacted positively by someone who is GOING through the struggle now, on the dark side with no results yet.
Yay for those of you that have results! I want to be there, but right now your stories just make me hate Myself more.
So here we go. Thanks for listening.
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