I needed a break, is that okay?

Flair is being stupid. 24M, 6'4" tall (193cm), SW: 320lbs, CW: 198-200lbs. Started January 2018.

I just need to hear someone tell me I haven't thrown away my health. This is driving me crazy.

Over the past four months I've started a new job, relocated, and got a puppy. It's been a hectic whirlwind. While I'm glad for new opportunities, if I don't have a sense of equilibrium and balance I find it really difficult to be diligent about my weight loss plan.

Especially with my new job, I needed to take a break. I've been dedicated to my diet and exercise routine for a year and I'm so proud of myself - I look like a different person. But I have more to go, and I never want to stop this. However, I chose to eat some "comfort foods" over a weekend, which turned into a week, which turned into a couple of months. I've exercised sporadically, but inconsistently.

I am getting back at it. I'm tracking my calories with MFP, lifting in the mornings, and running in the evenings. I've been doing well for about a week and I feel awesome. I'm going to weigh in next Wednesday. I need to keep going. Honestly, I only feel good about myself when I'm taking care of myself.

I'm happy that I maintained my weight. Dispite how much I flew off the handle, I didn't gain. I'm so grateful. But I feel so guilty. I feel like I failed myself.

Summer is around the corner. It's my favorite season. When I was too fat to wear t shirts or enjoy the outdoors because of my size, I was the most depressed. Last summer I was able to wear a t shirt and go on adventures - literally a dream come true. I want this summer to be filled with progress, and if not this summer than the next, I want to be able to take off my shirt. My man boobs are turning into pecs slowly but surely, and it's so cool.

If I'm inconsistent I don't see any progress. But for some reason as much as I understand this, it's so hard to get back on track.

This is mostly a vent, because I know you all understand. This community has got me through everything since I started this weight loss journey.

If you all could come through the internet and give me a hug, I'd sure appreciate it.

Sorry, this is mostly a vent. But I need some support.

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