Today I was in the kitchen, preparing a big plate of CHICKEN NUGGETS for god’s sake, when my dad confronted and asked, “Are you getting too skinny? Doing drugs other than weed?” (I smoke pot and my dad knows this, he sometimes indulges as well.) I tell him I haven’t been, which of course is true. He says okay, but that I’m “doing all the things you’re supposed to look out for,” and cites spending a lot of time in my room, which I have always done, and weight loss. So “all the signs” = two things, I suppose.
For scale, I still have an overweight BMI (5’8”, 169lbs, AFAB.) Over the past year, give or take, I’ve lost a grand total of about 80ish pounds. The first 60 happened very gradually, and largely unintentionally. Then I settled around 185, and about two months ago decided I wanted to make a further change. For the first time in my life I took agency over the way I ate, thought critically about my intake, started excersizing more often and using CICO, with a lot of effectiveness. I’ve also taken a job with a lot of running and lifting (what we do is timed) and am recovering in a real way from binge eating disorder. On the path I’m treading, I should be experiencing life at a normal BMI for the first time IN MY LIFE soon. I have ALWAYS been fat.
I’m really frustrated and upset that he would insinuate that, most of all because it completely invalidates the hard work I’ve done. I’m taking agency for the first time ever, finally doing something I’ve been needing to do (and that he has encouraged me to do) since I was very young. I guess I was operating on the assumption that he was as proud of me as I was of myself, but I guess not.
I’m just really frustrated and sad that he doesn’t believe I’m capable of putting in the hard work and succeeding at something. I want him to understand that the results I’m getting were difficult to get! And I don’t know in what world 169 at 5’8” is “too skinny”. I have no idea what to say to him and I worry that if I further refute what he said he’ll be even more suspicious!!
TL:DR; My dad insinuated that I’m doing some kind of hard drug to lose weight, when in reality I’ve been working really hard and recovering from diagnosed BED. I’m stunned and saddened that he can’t see my hard work and subsequent victories for what they are, and I’m not sure what to say.
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