First, the pics, because that’s what we’re all here for anyway, right? https://imgur.com/a/Del6wlG
36F, 5’3”, starting weight 240 as of July 4, 2018. Now 140 lbs as of May 22, 2019. Embarrassingly, this is my fifth time go-round on the weight loss machine. First time was starting at 191lbs when I was 23. I moved pretty quickly into extreme restricting at that time, and every subsequent weight loss attempt was an extension of that, until this one. There are still days where my lizard tells me to over-restrict, but I’m 95% successful at shutting him up.
I started with two promises to myself: I would weigh myself every day and record it, and I would record everything I ate. All of my previous weight loss failures have been associated with some sort of large meal, whether a binge or an appropriate event (Thanksgiving, for example). Then I would not want to get on the scale because I didn’t want to see the evidence, I didn’t want to track it because again, evidence, and so began the slippery slope of gaining it all back, and more. This time, once I started recording everything (MFP and Happy Scale), I decided to cut down to 1200 cals a day,. I thought about easing into it, but I figured if I went straight to 1200 and stayed there, I would better be able to control the “if a little is good, less is better” mentality of restricting. At the beginning, all I did was walk, trying to hit 6000 steps a day. I increased it bit by bit up to 10k a day. In August, I had surgery on my ankle, which has residual damage from a fracture in 2016, so when I say walking, I really mean walking. I added in a 3 day lifting split just a month ago, so the grand majority of my progress really is CICO and walking.
I had a lot of anxiety around anything that caused me to deviate from my routine, including vacations and any days away from my scale. About six months into my journey, I went to Las Vegas for a few days and had an epiphany. My goal was to lose weight and get healthy so that I could enjoy my life—here I was in Vegas, freaking out about not knowing the calorie content of anything and not being able to weigh. But I was missing the whole point—I wasn’t enjoying my life. I’d lost 63 lbs already. I didn’t have any particular date or goal in mind, so it wasn’t like I “needed” to be a certain weight at a certain point. I was just trying to improve myself. So I stopped being my worst enemy. I still made healthy choices, walked a ton, but allowed myself to indulge. I got home after having a great time and I still lost 2 lbs that week!
The things that made this possible and sustainable this time are planning, forgiveness, and support. Every weekend, I sit down and plan all of the food for the week, including snacks. I go grocery shopping, meal prep, and enter it all in MFP. I work long days and have a long commute (out of the house 630a-8p during the work week), so when I get home, I don’t want to figure out what’s going on the next day. I just open MFP, look at what I’ve scheduled, and pack my bag. I have also learned to forgive myself—there are going to be days where you eat more than you planned. There are going to be days where you’ve eaten perfectly and the scale still goes up. Forgive yourself, forgive the scale, and just keep doing what you’re doing. You know it works, you just have to be patient and give it time. Weight loss is not linear.
I cannot stress the importance of support enough. I’ve made accountabilibuddies through this subreddit and the challenges, and they are my lifesavers. Shout out to u/madmae16, u/nukaprincess, u/capitulum, and my challenge teams (Luma, Suicune, and Arithmancy). These folks have kept me sane, reminded me to have grace, and listened to me complain and whine about stupid stuff. I’ve had multiple 3-4 week plateaus that have made me want to tear my hair out, and I’m not sure I would have been able to stay the course without them.
I have 13 lbs left to go to goal weight, but my goal weight is a totally random, made up number that I picked out of thin air. I’d like to be comfortably into the healthy BMI range so that I can go on vacation, indulge, and still be within that category. I’d like to feel strong and healthy. And I want to fit into my clothes. Beyond that, I just want to enjoy my life.
Good luck on your journeys, wherever they take you. Live your best life. 😘😘😘
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2VGqtUb
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