Warning: potential to be very long, and have some errors due to me typing on a cell phone. Some parts seem blunt and don't give much detail, as I am trying to reduce length a bit. But if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I re-read this and I know my post doesn't have some of the jaw dropping wisdom and advice that I see in some fantastic posts here. I just simply tell my story, I will post it anyways, and hopefully it can be of use to someone.
Hello, loseit! I have been subscribed to this subreddit for 8-9 years now. Although I don't post much, and am not trying to actively lose weight - I still stay subscribed and read all your amazing stories of dedication, hard work, and journeys to a healthier lifestyle. I see a lot of questions and angst surrounding maintenance - so I figured I would tell you how I personally maintained my weight loss over so many years. Of course, it's a very personal journey for everyone, and your mileage may vary. This is just what has worked for me.
First: here is an album with some comparison pictures. I don't have many at my heaviest weight unfortunately. Early photos are all screen shots from Facebook's of family members, who ended up with a picture of me even though I hated having my picture taken at the time. http://imgur.com/a/X4uRnv5
Stats: Female. Now 29 years old. Height: 5'8/9, starting weight: around 210lbs. Current Weight: 130lbs.
Backstory:
I was never really overweight growing up and as a child, but I was always on the high end of a healthy weight. I was always larger than my female peers. As I grew into my teen years, I remember always feeling badly about myself and I never felt pretty or "dainty" like I perceived my peers and friends.
Growing up, my parents had very busy and demanding jobs so they never really instilled good eating habits. We ate a lot of fast food and a lot of unhealthy food that was quick to prepare. My weight steadily increased during my high school years. When I went to college, the stress and the freedom combined made my weight balloon. I got up to probably around 180 pounds in the first few years.
My last year of college, I got unexpectedly pregnant. The anxiety, stress, and worry about the situation caused me to pretty much eat my feelings and I gained a LOT of weight with my pregnancy. I do not remember my highest pregnancy weight, but I remember thinking I would just lose it when the baby came. I graduated college two weeks after the baby was born and luckily scored a good job which I started two weeks after graduation. Having a new born and suddenly moving and working full time didn't help my stress so I never really lost the weight. A year after having my first child, I found myself pushing around 210 lbs. (First picture, birthday baby!). Needless to say, my eating habits were very very bad at the time. A lot of indulgence and fast food.
The journey:
To be honest, I don't really know how it started. I remember feeling bad about my body and hating myself (negative!) for quite some time. It's a horrible feeling and I knew I had to change. At some point, I had subscribed to r/loseit - learned about counting calories, MyFitnessPal, etc. There was a moment where I said "fuck it, I'm doing this" and I did. I started off slow at first, started counting my calories, making healthier food choices, and taking my toddler on more walks. Once the weight started coming off, and I started feeling better about myself and loving myself, it was easy to stay motivated and keep going. I lost the bulk of my weight within a year. Now it was time for maintenance. (2013)
Maintenance can be hard:
A big life change like a big weight loss can have emotional effects for some people. After spending so long stressing about my body and my weight, seeing changes, and getting where I thought I wanted to be, it was kind of difficult to branch into maintenance at first. Food was scary for me, and I was stressed about eating too much and gaining weight back. I became so critical of myself and I became obsessive with my body. After the few photos (where I'm fishing and shooting a gun, lol, not typical activities for me, I visited a ranch) I lost more weight and dipped down into the mid-120s. This is honestly simply too low for my body type and height. I felt like shit. I don't have any pictures of myself at the time, because even then I knew my disordered thinking was wrong and I was ashamed. I was going through cycles of binging and purging (through severe restriction). Also, around this time - my first childs father and I broke up, I was a single mother and felt a bit helpless with my life, and I think my obsessive habits towards my body let me feel like I had some sort of control. But I knew deep down it was wrong, I wasn't happy, and I needed to change it.
Changing my way of thinking towards maintenance:
I want to start off by saying that if anyone is going through what I initially did at maintenance, are having negative thoughts about themselves, or are starting to dip into disordered eating habits - please see a therapist. It is not something that I did, but is something that in hindsight I wish I would have done, because I could of gotten help sooner.
The details are a little fuzzy for me for how I turned myself around (probably from brain fog from not eating enough), but I did. I needed to change my relationship with food, and the negative feelings I had toward food. I stopped counting calories (which I realized made me obsessive and fed into that) and I started reading a lot about intuitive eating.
Intuitive Eating:
Ah, intuitive eating - where you eat when you're hungry, and stop when you're full. Where you make healthy choices, but also allow indulgences. I recognized that this was probably the way that most people who have never struggled with their weight ate. But for someone like me, who didn't have a basis or a history of normal eating and good food choices, it took practice.
It's important I think to note that when I first started my journey of breaking away from disordered eating and learning the habit of intuitive eating - I did not count calories or weigh myself. My goal at the time was not maintenance or weight, it was fixing my relationship with food and learning how to eat properly.
So thus began my journey of intuitive eating. Like most changes, it was an adjustment at first. I DID start with fear and paranoia that I would do it wrong and gain weight. But I kept at it. At first, it did take a lot of thought about food, which seems counterintuitive at first, but comes more naturally after time.
I would ask myself questions "do I really want/ feel hungry for this item or does it just seem kinda good cause it's in front of me?", "Do I feel hungry for another helping of food or do I just want another one because it tasted good?", "am I really hungry again right now, or am I bored?", "Did that food satisfy me last time, and if not, why would I eat it again" etc.
Eventually it got easier, and I had to think less. Better food choices started to come more naturally for me.
Maintenance again, maintenance forever, the rest of my story, and me now:
This is getting a little long, so I will try to wrap it up. I spent probably a year to a year and a half working on my relationship with food by practicing intuitive eating and learning how to eat. Not weighing myself or counting calories during that time. I ended weighing around 135lbs the first time I stepped on a scale again. This is a good weight for me, and one that I have found almost laughingly easy to maintain -/+ 5 pounds the last 5-6 years or so (aside from a second pregnancy, but I'll get to that)
Between then and now, I have met my husband, gotten married, started a new and even more demanding job, bought a new house, remodeled that house, had a baby (who is now two!), and went through just a massive amount of life changes.
Like mentioned before, I have maintained my weight through all of this. Except for the pregnancy, but what was different the second time around was my mindset around it. I knew I was going to gain weight (growing a baby! Duh!) and I knew I had instilled the tools I needed to get back to where I wanted afterwards. I also no longer stress eat. With my second pregnancy, I very naturally gained about the 25lb recommended by my doctor (instead of really ballooning up like my first), had a very healthy baby, and the weight just naturally came off afterwards.
Now I am at the point where I weigh myself only once a week (if I remember) just to check myself and ensure my intuitive eating and mindset around food is on track. I aim to keep my weight around 135lb (+/- 5 pounds as weight naturally fluctuates, and especially for a girl during hormonal cycles). If I see that I am dipping too low, I will indulge a little more and vice versa if I see the scale is creeping up. For me this is very low stress, and I have not struggled, felt obsessive, or felt deprived by maintaining my weight like this.
I guess the moral (TLDR) of my story around maintenance is this: intuitive eating worked for me. Losing weight can be a mental and emotional process and fixing your mindset and your relationship with food is how to transition into long-term maintenance successfully. Also, love yourself because you deserve it. ♥️
Keep on keeping on, guys! I truly love this sub and love reading your journeys. Feel free to ask any questions if you have any or if I missed something. It's kind of hard to tell on a cell phone how cohesive my write up is.
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