Maybe I should start this of by describing my situation really quick: I am a 19 year old female at a healthy weight, but was trying to go down a few pounds to feel more comfortable after I had put on a few, no big deal, right?
Well, right now I am at my parents house for a few days and I decided to treat myself to all the things I don't have where I live now (food is not as available as it is here, so no fancy candy, variety of drinks etc). For the past 3 days I ate a lot, way over maintenance at the very least, I think the quantity could qualify this as a binge, but I feel completely in control and I eat because I want to and enjoy it, plus I stop when I am full.
I expected to feel lethargic and awful from eating so much, but the exact opposite has happened and it's putting everything in perspective:
I feel amazing. I am no longer cold and miserable all day, instead I have energy, so so much energy (Thanks ADHD) and am back to my bubbly, fidgety self. I can focus again and feel so much more creative, I don't think about food every second of the day and am instead enjoying life and feeling much more social and outgoing. My metabolism is all the way revved up again, I am actually having bowel movements (I used to have one a week) and my IBS has significantly improved (I used to scream in pain when having a bowel movement because the cramps were so, so bad).
All of this really showed me that the way I was going only led to disordered eating and a miserable, horrible life. I wanted to feel more comfortable in my body, but I sacrificed everything that made life worth living for it. I know that I can't keep eating the way I am now, but I am not at all worried about that, my appetite is already decreasing again and I never had a problem with overeating to begin with.
I am posting this as a reminder for everyone to be responsible about their diet. Don't cut calories too low! You need energy and you will only feel miserable. I am about to start this all over again, I am not going to let my weight loss goals interfer with my life and I am certainly not going to put my health at risk like this ever again (I bought a shit ton of laxatives because I was scared that only having one bowel movement a week was unhealthy so I wanted to speed things up. I now realize that it didn't work because there just wasn't anything to speed up!)
To everyone who reads this: Learn from my mistakes and please, be kind to yourself and your body. Don't put your health on the line for weight loss, weight loss should aid you to become a healthier version of yourself, it shouldn't damage your health any further!
Some days, I would eat as little as under 1000 calories and I am now seeing that it's way too little for me. I am fairly tall and muscular (for a woman that is), plus my ADHD gives me a very high NEAT to begin with (constantly pace around my room, have to get up often to let out energy, constantly moving in one way or the other as in flapping my hands etc.).
To a new, healthier start!
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