For context, I started my weight loss in summer. My start weight was 150lbs, my current weight is 125lbs, and my goal weight was 115lbs. I'm 5'4 and female. I started in July and I thought I would be done by November. I quit at around September, 10 lbs above my goal weight.
I had really low self esteem, and I had this idea that my life would be perfect once I was thinner. That was absolutely wrong. Some things improved and some declined. I now have more time for hobbies and I feel comfortable with being seen in public. But, in the process, I broke up with my ex and now I don't have any friends, as that relationship took up most of my time.
I'm at a healthy weight for my height, and I've been maintaining without trying, so I completely lost motivation. I don't want to be 115lbs anymore. At the same time, I'm not comfortable with the way that I look. When I was on a diet, all I knew was that I needed to eat a limited amount of calories. My "diet" consisted of 1400-1200 calories worth of protein bars and tv dinners. I don't know anything about protein and what types of nutrients I need to be getting. My hair is thin, I'm nauseous all the time, and I need it to stop. My period is always late.
I planned to continue my diet next summer. My idea is that I'd be able to go back to school as a happier person and it'd be better to make progress during a period where I wouldn't be seen. However, I got a month off of school due to the coronavirus. I don't know if I believe in fate, but this just feels like a giant sign.
I don't want to be any specific number. I just want to build muscle, be happy with myself, and be confident enough to approach people. I want my hair to be thick enough to bleach and dye.
I don't know what foods to eat or how much I should exercise. What should I do?
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