This is my new day 2 (day 1 was yesterday, but I didn't think to post yesterday).
Like many other folks, I've lost weight and regained it. This has happened several times. Every time I do a little better. In high school, I dropped fried foods and 10 pounds, regained it very shortly after (not surprising, since I went to culinary school) (graduated in 2008). Then, when I went back to school (computer science), depression really got to me, and I used therapy and exercise to help get me back in the right place. I was around 280, and got down to to 250. I regained the weight after graduating (I had an active job in college, and a desk job after college). In late 2016, I found I was wasting my life. I was literally going to work, coming home, eating, Facebooking, sleeping, then going back to work. I was refreshing Facebook looking for entertainment and it wasn't there. It was like I was simply living to work and wasting the rest of my life. I was 322lbs the last time I weighed myself at my heaviest (July/August-ish 2016).
One day, it just clicked. "What else could I be spending my time on?" Learning guitar, travelling, experimenting with food, etc. all occurred to me, but I was like "I have been saying I'll lose weight since high school. Shoot, probably even middle school. Why not now? I have the money and the time."
So, I did three things.
- I started packing my lunches/dinners and sticking them in the freezer (I went back and tracked and it was actually not terrible, but it would have resulted in a slow loss).
- I signed up for a summer camp called Camp Nerd Fitness. It taught me a lot, but mostly it taught me how to open my heart. (I also met the girl I am dating now there, and re-met her later when I lost the weight, and that's when we started dating; unfortunately we live across the country from each other)
- I signed up for a gym membership and a personal trainer. Little did I know that I found my guru.
So, the camp kind of kickstarted my motivation and the meal prep helped me get started, but the trainer... he helped me everywhere. From August 2016 (at 315lb), I got down to 250lb (May 2017) and 229 (my lowest, March 2018). He designed my meal plans, picked me up when I got off track, worked with me two to three times a week, and was a really positive voice in my head. I was tracking consistently. Every bite was tracked (on SparkPeople). In May 2017, I was the happiest I had ever been. I had a girl at my side, I was feeling great, and I thought I looked good. That said, it took from December 2017 to March 2018 to lose 5 pounds. I was definitely slowing down. To be honest, 250lb was my big goal, and everything else was riding off that motivation. In March 2018, my trainer moved away. Ever since then, I've been slowing gaining. I tracked my calories sporadically. For the most part, I was still going to the gym consistently, but my food was off-kilter. I still live with my parents and twin brother, and they all like junk food (not fast food; luckily we live far enough in the country that fast food is kind of hard to get). They understood my drive, but voiced concern that they felt I was never around. By December 2018, I was only tracking food maybe once a week.
So, I dropped my gym habit to 3 to 4 nights a week. I noticed I wasn't sleeping well, so I made it a goal to get home by ten pm most nights, which meant I was working out about three hours at the gym three times a week (1hr cardio, 2hr weights [I was lollygagging, if I did it with intention, I could finish strength in 45 minutes]). In March 2019, I began going to the gym with my friend, and I scaled down my workouts to meet with her. I still had the same length, but less intensity. I would do my cardio, then she'd show up for strength. Or we'd do strength first, and I'll do cardio afterwards. With my motivation waning, there were several nights I would skip cardio. In May, we started doing martial arts classes, but shortly after, she hurt her knee and had to stop, but I kept going. I used martial arts as an excuse not to do cardio. I had a teleconference, too, so that also provided an excuse. Her dad's cancer came back so she couldn't do training every day. So, now I was down to 2 to 3 days a week in the gym, at worst doing just 1.5 hours martial arts, and part of that was just talking. At this point, my food was pretty much whatever I wanted to eat, which meant lots of dessert things. I tracked maybe once a month, and it rarely included dinner because I'd track about 3pm.
Well, during quarantine, I don't have access to the gym. I no longer meal prep because I'm always home and I don't need to bring it to work. So, for the first three weeks, I worked out, maybe 3 times, and only once really intensely (workout video; it was listed as beginning, but it included lots of burpees). But, my girlfriend is on a weight loss streak and has been calling me twice a day; once for a bedtime story (a novel; a way we're trying to stay close, despite the distance) and once for a walk. We'll talk for an hour and walk about 3 miles. The past few days have been really hard because of all the rain, but we're doing the best we can. With her encouragement, I've also started to look at my food more carefully and just overall had a better view. I'm hoping to get down to 280lb. She's been the light of my life. I want to get down to at least 250lb before I get engaged to her (no later than December) and 225lb (or higher, if I gain muscles and look good) before I marry her (hopefully, October-ish 2021, but that requires a discussion).
I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the fat hanging off me. I don't like seeing myself and I want to be attractive to her. I want to be attractive enough that she's proud and is like "He's MY guy." And I want to be able to move and have energy again.
SW: 287, CW: 287, GW: 225
Male, 29, 6'1"
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