Warning: here comes a long one (also, I’m a disaster with English prepositions).
I'm female, 29, 161 cm or 5'3.
I was always fat. I don't think my weight was in the healthy range since I was... 4? 5 years old, maybe? It never bothered me tho, I always had friends, boyfriends, no health problems... you name it. I has never bullied, no one acted different around me even if I was always the fattest person in my friend circle. Sure, It happened that I had crushes with boys that were not interested at all, but I could move on, I felt fine. I did sports, I was rather good at swimming and golf, but I stopped in high school. After that I really became sedentary. I would walk a couple km a day, but I was always a picky eater and generally I overate the things I really like and ignored vegetables. I got more fat specially when I went to college away from home and I could cook for myself. I was ashamed of cooking in front of my healthy friends so I basically ate microwaved meals when they were not around, with a bit of fast food in the middle. I rarely ate something that was good for me. But I still felt fine.
The first time I lost weight I had the help of my best friend. We ate a gigantic francesinha (google it, it’s definitely not good for you but omg how good is it) and the owner offered us a chocolate mousse. We were so stuffed, but how could we say no to a free dessert? While we were outside of the restaurant, we decided to join a gym. I was 90 kg (198 pounds). I lost 15 kg (33 lbs) in a couple of weeks and I was feeling great! I was eating better, but I was also restricting a lot. Eventually I stopped caring, stopped going to the gym and gained it all back and more.
The second time I lost weight I was unhappy with how I looked. I was 98 kg (216 lbs). I went back to the gym and to my restrictive diet of before. I was losing again around 2 kg (4,4 lbs) a week. I would have breakdowns if I was not losing. One time I didn’t want to go to a anniversary party because I didn’t lose any kg that week. I lost around 20 kg (44 lbs). Eventually my best friend moved away. I still went to the gym but when I went to Erasmus everything went off the rails. I would overeat constantly, snacking all the time (sometimes I would eat all pack of digestive cookies in a day – I still love them now, tho). After Erasmus I went to the doctor. I always had big breasts (which I hate), and my best friend told me our national healthcare system would do the reduction for free if it was a health concern. To do the operation for free I had to have a healthy BMI. My doctor talked about weight loss surgery. I was a bit dazzled (why would she recommended it to me?). I was 102 kg (224 lbs).
Eventually I moved to another country to live with my boyfriend. Having the liberty to buy whatever I wanted to eat was not good. We had take out all the time, we snacked all day. I knew I was getting fatter, but I was happy. I still felt mostly fine.
One Halloween we went to McDonalds’ at 4 in the morning because I didn’t have dinner. A couple of hours later I was feeling pain like I never felt before. I went to the hospital and the doctor said it was a gastroenteritis. Everything stayed the same. A couple of months later we went to have a weekend getaway in Germany. I should have known that something was very wrong when walking 8 km killed my feet and left me in pain. But it didn’t. In the day we came back, we had a burger for lunch and then at home I has eating a chocolate bar with hazelnuts that we bought in Rausch’s. It was really delicious, but a couple of hours later I was back at the hospital. I had a gallbladder stone. I was 27 and I weighted 108,5 kg (239 lbs).
It’s sad that I had to suffer so much to finally open my eyes but that was what happened. I went to a doctor and he gave me a diet of 1600/1700 calories per day, because he didn’t thing I could take less than that. But I’m a very strong minded person. I downloaded myfitnesspal. On the first day I ate 1300 calories and I felt fine. The nest day I decided to go down to 1200 and stayed there until now (around that at least). I ate normally, I just stayed inside my calorie allowance. My SO was (and is!) amazing and motivated me every step of the way. I started to go to the gym. I would mainly go to swim, because it’s the only sport I really loved. I also did yoga at home. I try to do at least 30 to 60 minutes of exercise a day and to that I have to thank to my apple watch, which became a great motivator for me. Eventually I had some lessons with a personal trainer and started to do some hiit circuits and some lifting. I started to run with C25K (never finished it tho, because of corona) and I absolutely despised running before. I still suck at it, but for my goal I bought a new pair of running shoes and I will try to resume it. I started intermittent fasting a couple of weeks into my “diet” (mainly 16/8, sometimes OMAD when I had a nice meal at a restaurant, but now with the quarantine it’s mostly 18/6). Now I’ve been doing Ring Fit Adventure and some hiit training (I use Carrot, btw).
I gave myself something nice every 5 kg lost (clothes, going to the hair dresser, a kitchen robot, make up and skincare... whatever I wanted). It helped me staying focused in a way, but it was always kinda easy to me to stay on track. When I go on vacation I never fast and I never count calories. I slowed down my progress but I kept my sanity. Last December I crashed and burned tho. I was not losing, I was tired, I wanted a break. I had a break, I gained weight and on New Year’s Eve I was back to the hospital with a gallbladder attack. Yey me. I have to be careful with what I eat, I can’t have too much fat and spicy things (even alcohol) or I risk an attack. Well, at least I got back on track. I’m waiting for the operation to remove my gallbladder stone, but the corona virus situation has put everything on hold. Recently I started to add more vegetables and fiber to my diet because I was having some trouble going to the bathroom (lol). I usually have a smallish lunch, a big dinner and dessert – I follow a lot of the recipes from 200 is plenty sweet, I love them!
At the 436th day of my “diet” I arrived to a healthy BMI. I am 64,6 kg (142 lbs). I don’t think I even believe it. I wish I felt slimmer or leaner but it is what it is. I still have a bit to go. I have loose skin on my arms, breasts and belly. Still quite a bit of fat in the belly also. My legs are mostly fine – I don’t think I will have surgery there. I hope to arrive to 58 kg (127 lbs) before I start to think about skin removal surgery. That would also put me in a big round number of 50 kg lost – almost half of me! That is my final goal. Wish me luck!
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