So I had RNY weight loss surgery in February. I was on a medically monitored diet for several months prior. I told my Dad & Mom about my decision to have weight loss surgery when I started the medical diet. My Dad had the surgery a few years ago, so they are familiar with the dietary restrictions, no fatty foods or concentrated sugar... My mom & I discussed dietary restrictions multiple times.
A little background on my Mom. She is 65, obese, has uncontrolled diabetes. When I was 16, I had worked out & dieted and lost 2 pant sizes. When I got down to a size 14 my Mom told me I better not lose any more weight because I was looking sick. So now, She goes to Starbucks every day (sometimes twice a day) and orders her Chai tea latte with 8 pumps of syrup. She eats white potatoes, pasta, corn or other filler carbs at every meal, because “That is an important part of you diet.” She drinks a large glass of orange juice every day to “prevent illness.” I have tried talking to her about her health & her diet but she won’t listen and her diabetes is now affecting her kidneys and vision.
Well right as I started my medically monitored diet my Mom asked me to come over & pick up a dozen doughnuts that she got for me. I told her then, “No,” I don’t want that kind of food in my house.
Then she stopped by my house unannounced with a free dozen she got & wanted to share with me, 4 weeks after my surgery. I think she came over because I refused to pick them up last time. I took the doughnuts this time and gave them away at work.
THEN, last weekend she called to tell me she got me a cake for my birthday. She has not bought me a cake for my birthday since I was 18 years old- over 20 years ago! I asked her what kind, and of course it was a full on sugary, butter cream frosted cake. She said, “Well, you have to have cake on your birthday.” I told her, “You know I can’t eat that.” She acted confused, which made me confused because my Dad had the exact same surgery a few years ago.
I lucked out and she did not come by because I had to get tested for Covid (I’m negative).
But what gives? I’m wondering if she is actively trying to sabotage me or is she just not thinking? I’m actually getting a bit angry at her as the more I think about it the more calculated her behavior seems... How do I handle her?
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