Stats: F, 24, H: 5'2", SW: 210, CW: 165, GW: ?
Hi everyone! I've been struggling with my weight since middle school, and it climbed steadily throughout high school, college, and past it. There were times it tapered or dipped, including from 2018-2019 where I lost noticeable weight for the first time in years, but I put it all back on in a matter of months as my mental health dipped. Around October of last year I began intermittent fasting to help contain my eating times, and tried to pick up exercising but quickly fell out of it.
In February of this year I was (long overdue-ly) diagnosed with depression and anxiety and when my doctor and I discussed meds I emphasized how important it was to me that I didn't end up with a med that had the side-effect of weight gain. Thusly, I became friends with Zoloft in early March.
Around this time I was invited by some friends to do a daily yoga challenge over Zoom, and this became a permanent fixture of my daily life. The Zoloft has had the additional side-effect of curbing my appetite (which has helped me stop over-eating and snacking), and with my continued loose-commitment to the 12-8 IF, I started to slowly see my weight dip. At first, the weight dropped relatively quickly; I believe I lost close to 10 pounds in the first month.
Since then, the weight loss has slowed down considerably. I from late-July to early September I was really stuck/fluctuating between 178-172lb. I tried to not be discouraged; I'd gained SO much muscle. The backs of my thighs feel solid. I know that my arms are strong as I can do 30+ pushups in a row (whereas I struggled to do 3 even when I was a fit lil kid). I have ABS now. Generally, I've been trying to remind myself that muscle weighs more than fat, and so while I might not see change on the scale, it doesn't mean that my body isn't transforming. So, while I was beginning to wonder if my body was content to be 172, and that I wouldn't hit my next goal of 170. (I've been keeping my goals in 10lb increments)
That being said, I jumped on the scale three days ago after forgetting to look at the scale for a few days, and saw that I was at 167. And now I'm 165.
For the first time in my memory, I'm confident in my body. And while, yes, it's really cool how curves are more defined and I like how I look more in certain styles and with my hair back, I'm just really excited by my strength. I feel powerful. I'm excited for a time post COVID where I think I'll be ready to be comfortable in a gym, but I'm also really grateful to have made this kind of progress with self love through time with friends. Losing this weight has also forced me to grapple with my own internalized fatphobia, and I'm working on focusing more on my strength and how I feel rather than numbers and how I look. I am cognizant of how easy it might be to regain the weight, and I'm trying super hard to put myself in a mental place to be comfortable with the journey and move away from negativity.
I'm not quite certain what my final goal weight is; I suppose BMI states I should be somewhere between 100-130, but on the other hand BMI is BS. I figure I'll be going through 10 lb intervals and see how I feel.
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Note 1: I didn't start doing yoga to lose weight; I specifically started to improve my flexibility. I was a human pretzel as a kid and really wanted to work towards that again, and in recent months have hit some milestones with that. That being said, when I realized that weight lose was occurring, I pushed myself because 1) I've not felt comfortable in my skin... ever, 2) I have A LOT of genetic health concerns that run in my family and I want to put myself in a position where I feel more in control of myself, as watching family get sick has made me feel very helpless, and 3) I'm concerned that medical fatphobia will contribute to misdiagnoses in my future as they have my loved ones.
Note 2: my general schedule has been to weigh myself every morning after using the bathroom (which I really don't recommend doing because days where my weight went up have really fucked with my head despite it being super common in a given week), do yoga, eat at 12, have a snack around 3 or 4, and then another meal at 7.
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